RevGalBlogPals

Ask the Matriarch - Building Community with Busy People

2012-02-09T08:40:00.000-05:00

This week's question is one with which I resonate. Given the busy schedules of our church members, how on earth can the church build and nurture commitment and community? Here is our question:

A long-time lurker on RGBP (my blogging hasn't been consistent enough to join the webring) and so appreciative for this shared ministry!

I am 14 months into my first call, at little-church-in-suburbia. We are starting to attract new worshipers, and it's about time for a new member class (a good problem, right?). The issue seems to be scheduling. We schedule many things on Sundays, since life-in-suburbia is over-scheduled to the max. It's the most viable way of getting decent participation. Midweek events are easily forgotten and compete with kids' schedules (or bedtime for the littlest ones).

Coordinating the schedules of the new folks so we can get *them* in one place at one time has its own complexities. Then, between adult bible study, confirmation class, and council meetings, I have very few options to schedule Sunday morning time with these prospective new members.

So, matriarchs, any suggestions on building Christian community - and building the body of Christ - when people have precious little time to commit? How to set up new member classes to be meaningful and yet compact?

Grace and peace,

tellthestories

Ruth responds:

A previous church where I was minister had a wonderful influx of ‘new people’ at one stage – they took it upon themselves to meet up for lunch (or just a coffee if pushed for time) after the morning service once a month to discuss the sermon. It helped that one of them was more mature in the Christian journey (but you could always suggest an appropriate person to join the group). I tended to have this group in mind when I was preaching (which I think helped the whole congregation, to be honest); they would sometimes feed back themes they’d like tackled in future sermons. I joined them when I could – but it seemed to be a place of enrichment & growth whether I was there or not (lesson for the minister, there!).

I think what made this group work well was:

A ‘light touch’ group (no extra reading required!)

Related to worship so no sense of ‘baby topics’, it was real stuff

It didn’t depend on any one person to be there – it had a genuine groups dynamic

It was about people following Christ, not church – but it fed people in their life as a church.

I wish I had a group like that going where I am now – maybe I should pray about that??

And Muthah+ offers:

Dear Growing Parish Pastor,

What a wonderful conundrum you have! It IS difficult to schedule newcomers classes these days, but I have found that "If you schedule it, they will come." See if you can connect with the majority of those who have expressed an interest and go for the most amenable time. If other events conflict, see if you can adjust those schedules. Except for board meetings and funerals, Newcomer events take precedence. It is the least we can do when welcoming new folk to the faith.

I have always had some who just can't get to classes on a regular basis due to serious reasons. I will often schedule a dinner meeting with them with a good time for discussing a book I have given them to read. This one-on-one contact a good way to deal with those whose schedules are bizarre. It also makes the connection with the pastor and answers their particular questions.

I have always taught a course in adult education on "What you always wanted to know about being a (Denomination) but have been coming too long to ask" to invite long-term members AND newcomers to share their experience and their questions about the faith. It allows for good discussion from all members and a chance to share faith that they might not always have.

---

Wise and wonderful thoughts, Matriarchs! Thank you!! What about the rest of you folks? Do you have insight or experience that you might share? Please join the conversation in the comments section.

And thank you for responding to our call for questions! Without your questions, we don't have a column. Our queue has a good number of questions now, but there is always room for more. So drop us a line at askthematriarch[at]gmail[dot]com.

-- earthchick

Big Event 6.0 -- Save the Date!!!

2012-02-08T20:56:00.002-05:00

When –Monday, January 28, to Saturday, February 2, 2013

Where – 5night Bahamas cruise on Carnival Fascination from Jacksonville, Florida. Stopsat Key West and Nassau.

Who –Rachel Hackenberg, author of Writing to God: 40 Days of Praying with My Pen (Paraclete Press) and the brand new Writing to God: Kids' Edition. Rachel also blogs at Faith and Water.

Rachel is a United Church ofChrist (UCC) minister currently serving in Lancaster, Pennsylvania, a mother oftwo children, and a graduate of Princeton Theological Seminary and ColgateUniversity. Her family roots are in central Pennsylvania.

Rachel often writes when Spirit and Museintersect in the midst of daily life, and she believes in encouraging thatintersection with caffeine. Her favorite authors are women who write aboutwhole life & holy life with a touch of irreverence and a whole lot of grit:from Toni Morrison to Sara Miles to Madeleine L'Engle.

******Costs and program details coming soon!*****

Wednesday Festival: How People Change

2012-02-08T09:24:00.000-05:00

Today's post is from Anita at Dreaming Beneath the Spires: How People
Change or Sanctification.

I have heard two remarkable stories of spiritual transformation in the last
few months.

A friend from a family well-known in Christian leadership and ministry told me how he rebelled in his mid-teens, chain-smoked, lived with a series of women… When he was 40, a serious sports injury left him immobile; his girlfriend asked him to move out, his work made him redundant. So he was left single, homeless, jobless, and immobile, and had to move back with his parents. It was his Jacob moment. He surrendered his life to Christ, invited all his siblings and friends to a ceremony at which he burnt his last cigarette, and never smoked one again.

Another was from an amazing pastor. As a teenager, one of his parents, who was dying, killed the other in a quarrel, six months before their own death. Grief-stricken, he slipped: heroin, cocaine, alcohol, causing deep physical damage. In despair, he cried out to the Lord, “If you are real, take away my desire for drugs.” Well, God did. He gave up drugs, and is a driven and passionate evangelist, out of gratitude to God who set him free.

Very cool.

How I love these stories of instant dramatic change.

Mine however has not been like that. It has been slow, slow, slow,
but I have changed.

I had a fiery temper, and over the last decade, have learnt to get it under control,
though I still lose it some!! But there is much freedom and joy in thinking things
over, thinking about the objective I want to achieve, remembering Jesus, changing
addresses, so to say, moving myself away from maelstrom of anger and indignation
into living in Jesus, surrounded by him.

Roy also has a fiery temper, and I used to wonder if it was escapism to retreat to a quiet place of God’s love and eternal truths, in the Psalms for instance, while his anger reverberated fearsomely. (He’s generally mild, but when he loses his temper, well...) I decided, Nope, it wasn’t escapism. The Rock of Truth is the rock, no matter how tempestuous the ocean. God’s love is steady, despite the storm. Scripture is an axis for one’s life, even if someone has just lost their temper with you, making your internal world feel unsteady. So mentally and spiritually, in family life, you sometimes need to go into your room, lock the door, and sail away into the quiet sea of God’s love. The truths which are always true.
* * *
Yeah, that battle with out-of-control anger is mostly won, I believe. I can process my anger with God rather than the person. The battle with forgiveness is not as huge as it used to be. As far as my deceitful heart knows, I walk in forgiveness, fully achieved, or in process!

The battle with untidiness is in process, but yeah, it’s in a virtuous circle.
I’m winning.

* * *

So what battle do I now wage with Apollyon? Which, as in Bunyan’s Pilgrim’s Progress can only be won by the two-edged sword of the word of God and prayer.

I believed I had no addictions, after I broke my coffee addiction.

Not so. I have just finally acknowledged a embarrassing, deep-rooted habit to myself, which is perhaps an addiction.

James says: Is anyone among you in trouble? Let them pray. Is anyone happy? Let them sing songs of praise.

Well, I sometimes have.

But my default method of dealing with uncomfortable emotions gets quick results. Sad, low-spirited, depressed—Eat chocolate. Happy and high—eat chocolate, which I unconsciously associate with happiness. Stressed, bored, empty—eat chocolate.

Chocolate works; it produces results. It contains tryptophan, which triggers the release of endorphins and serotonin, which decrease stress and depression. It contains phenylethylamine, the "chocolate amphetamine" causes changes in blood pressure and blood-sugar, leading to excitement and alertness. Its anandamide activates dopamine, a neurotransmitter which leads to a sense of well being. Its theobromine produces a sense of mental and physical relaxation and increased alertness.

There are other things which help me feel as high as chocolate does. I can listen to scripture while jogging in place or dancing. I can read beautifully written spiritual books which can make me feel hyper and excited: Ann Voskamp’s One Thousand Gifts, at the moment, or Frederick Buechener, or John Eldredge, or Willard’s Divine Conspiracy or Piper’s Desiring God. Playing worship music while dancing or tidying up induces a change of emotional state. As does prayer.

Or running. Or yoga or gardening.

But, you see, chocolate, or chocolate biscuits, or crisps, or comfort food—ah, that induces a change of state far more rapidly! There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death. (Proverbs 16:25).

Ah, haste. Hurry up. Quick. Fast. Speed. Words which are death to the spiritual life. Dallas Willard writes “Haste has worry, fear, and anger as close associates; it is a deadly enemy of kindness, and hence of love.”

So, to be honest, this is the humililating “Valley of Humiliation” in which I currently battle Apollyon--my tendency to medicate stress, boredom, sadness, low mood, reverses, life with a highly-strung family with food, especially chocolate and sweet stuff.

And so I am trying to break a habit I started in my teens. Low mood: eat. Stressed: Eat. Bored: Eat.

Put off, put on: That’s a consistent New Testament formula.

Put off mindless seeking for comfort in things which will cause distress later (weight gain, and being excessively hyper).

Put on: stopping work when chocolate craving overwhelms. Changing the activity. Seeking joy in God who delights the soul as with the richest of foods. Exercise with Scripture. Read a spiritual book, some good old lectio divina.

Yeah, it’s a bit embarrassing that I am waging this sort of low-level basic spiritual battle after being a Christian for 22 years.

But waging it, I am, and I am determined to win.

I so want to change, and taste God, and the pleasures of God when I am low-spirited, bored, stressed or depressed instead of the quick, easy, deceitful pleasures of chocolate.

Tuesday Lectionary Leanings~Better late than never edition

2012-02-07T10:33:00.007-05:00

So this is the note where I apologize for being late and give thanks for FB, where when I see other references to preaching this week I think, "Oh I should go over to RGBPs and see what people are thinking about for this week," and then it hits me "OMG--it's my turn!" Sorry!

And now, let us pray:

Lord, though each of us rises alone to start this new day, bind us to the faith of the saints who have gone before us, and guide us to walk with our sisters and brothers in community. AMEN.

This week's readings can be found here.

Our lectionary texts this week deal with healing...and healing. First we encounter Naaman , the mighty warrior who travels with his wealth and power to Israel seeking relief from his leprosy, and then we meet the anonymous leper who comes to Jesus saying, "If you choose, you can make me clean." How are these stories of healing, and of power and expectations and surprise speaking to you?

Along the way we also encounter Paul writing to the Corinthians and using an athletic metaphor.

One phrase of this passage has always bothered me,"...I punish my body and enslave it..." Never quite sure what to make of that, but perhaps Paul's message is resonating with some of you preachers. If so, please share your insights!

Our psalm this week is one of comfort and reassurance:

Weeping may spend the night, *

but joy comes in the morning.

...
You have turned my wailing into dancing; *

you have put off my sack-cloth and clothed me with joy.

Therefore my heart sings to you without ceasing; *
O LORD my God, I will give you thanks for ever.

So where are you headed this week?

"Agnus Day appears with the permission of www.agnusday.org"

RevGalBookPals: Lauren Winner Book Giveaway!!!

2012-02-06T06:00:00.000-05:00

Author Lauren Winner, who teaches at Duke Divinity School, has just published a new book, Still: Notes on a Mid-faith Crisis (HarperOne).

This is a book about hitting a spiritual wall--

What happens when you hit a spiritual wall, and rather than fleeing, you stay there – right there at the wall?

What happens when the things you thought you knew about leading a Christian spiritual life no longer seem to make sense in the actual life you find yourself living?

What happens when you realize you have left the (joy-filled, thunderstruck) beginning of your spiritual life, and entered the decidedly not thunderstruck middle?

Those are the questions of Still.

Lauren writes,

"I am making a big effort to get this book into the hands of women clergy, and I would love, if possible, to find a way of sending a copy to each member of theRevGalBlogPals ring."

If you would like a copy of Still, send your snail mail address to RevGalBlogPals@gmail.com by Monday, February 13, and we will forward the list to Lauren. Please write "Winner book" in the subject line. This offer is open to ring members, blog commenters, blog lurkers and Facebook fans of RevGalBlogPals, both clergy and lay, gals and pals.

We will be scheduling a book discussion on the blog sometime in the spring, but to be clear, the books are a gift, and neither RevGalBlogPals, nor any or the book recipients, are required to review or promote the book, or participate in a discussion of it.

RevGalBlogPals has never done an unsolicited snail mailing, and is highly unlikely to use your address in the future. (We live in the Cloud!) We think this is a very cool idea and a win-win for everyone involved.

Many thanks to ring member MaryAnn McKibben Dana for putting Lauren in touch with us!

Here's a review of the book:

Publishers Weekly starred review of Still:

Still: Notes on a Mid-Faith Crisis

Lauren F. Winner. HarperOne, $24.99 (256p) ISBN 978-0-06-176811-8

In present-tense, lyrical essays of varying lengths, some brief paragraphs, others pages long, the author explores her emotional landscape as she struggles to move beyond the depression that plagues her following her mother’s death and her own divorce. Examining feelings of grief, failure, and doubt that she never expected to encounter after her conversion from Judaism to Christianity, Winner’s (Girl Meets God) use of rhythm and image bring poetic nuances to her exquisitely crafted prose. Narrative accounts of visiting her mother’s grave; “the failed cool-professor moment;” infiltrating a synagogue, in costume, to participate in Purim; and a church visit that results in her holding hands with “one of the people from whom Jesus would have cast a demon” all provide an intimate window into a seeker trying to find equilibrium in a stage of faith and life that is neither beginning nor end, but, she fears, “an extended sojourn into the spiritual equivalent of middle school.” Evocative section titles (“hospitality: an icon,” “female saints, their intimacy with Jesus”) and quotes from poets, theologians, and friends prove inviting, while a circumspect honesty conveys both intimacy and privacy. Author interview included. (Feb.)

Sunday prayer for Epiphany 5/Ordinary 5

2012-02-05T00:17:00.000-05:00

Holy One,
Hear our prayers oh Lord,
Our lives are often like an emotional rollercoaster in a runaway car.
We sometimes feel our lives are out of control and so we often try to get control.
We then grow weary and tired,
because just about everything we try to do on our own falls short.
And then we give up Lord.
We let go Lord.
We quit trying to be in control.

It is times like these that we need you Lord,
We need to commune with you, to become centered and whole.
We need to draw close to you, to experience your healing touch.
We need the support of one other, the love of one another,
the encouragement of one another to remind us of your presence.
It is times when we commune with you that then we are lifted up on eagles wings,
Then we gain power for our faintness
Then we gain strength for our weariness
Then we who are broken hearted are healed
Then we who are wounded find healing
Then we find hope in his steadfast love

And Lord when we have received our healing,
may we then be a vessel for you to use to heal other.
May we go about proclaiming the good news to all
May our households of faith be a gathering of those in need of healing and forgiveness.
Amen

Cross posted at A Place for Prayer and Rev Abi's Long and Winding Road.

11th Hour Preacher Party: eh, what's that you say? edition...

2012-02-04T01:00:00.002-05:00

...Have you not heard?..

... he cured many who were sick...

....he got up and went out to a deserted place, and there he prayed....

The fifth Sunday after the Epiphany is here. Ash Wednesday and Lent are a mere few weeks away - I am thick in the middle of preparing for what comes next - always living one or two seasons beyond the one we are currently "in."

Such is the life of a Pastor and preacher. And so, with all the work I have been doing in preparation for Lent I have barely looked at the readings for this week. A classic case of not seeing the forest for the trees. But here I am, Saturday. (BTW, wasn't it just Saturday?)...

Anyway, here we are...so, are you like me, wondering not only what the texts are, but (YIKES)what you are going to say about them? Or, are you well on your way to having a sermon written? Or do you have a title and some working ideas but not much more? Or are you responsible for the Children's time but not sure what to do to convey the meaning of these readings for the kids? Or do you have the week off? Or are you working as a supply clergy or at a neutral pulpit?

Regardless of the specifics of your circumstances and the reality in which you will preach tomorrow, we are here. WE ARE HERE. to help you. to support you. to read your sermon and offer feedback. to feed you in body, mind, and spirit...(best as we are able)....(I have some delicious coffee, lots and lots of choices for tea, some homemade yogurt...and later I will probably make some cookies). So, pull up a chair, join us for some conversation and sharing...here, let me get you a mug - would you like some tea or coffee?

Friday Five: Image Association

2012-02-03T05:00:00.000-05:00

I am *just* back from RevGalBlogPals Big Event 5.0, where we spent a great five days learning at a wonderful Continuing Ed program led by Jenee Woodard, curator of The Text This Week. With Jenee's facilitation, we studied the texts for Ordinary Time Year B, with a focus on brainstorming the images that arose for us, to use in liturgy and preaching and personal spiritual contemplation.

For example, at our Closing Worship on Wednesday evening, Mary Beth Butler shared a reflection on John 6:24-35, in which Jesus is asked some very odd questions. MB was reminded of the kind of questions asked of pop star David Cassidy, when he was interviewed in Tiger Beat Magazine. It was as if Jesus was a rock star, and they didn't know how to ask him the right questions that could help them to understand. (And that was a message that preached, sisters.)

For today's Friday Five, let's have a mini-BE 5.0 workshop. Take a look at these five portions from the gospel lections for this Sunday and next, and share with us the images that come to mind for you. Feel free to use words or pictures. (Just remember David Cassidy is taken.)

1. As soon as they left the synagogue, they entered the house of Simon and Andrew, with James and John. Now Simon's mother-in-law was in bed with a fever, and they told him about her at once. He came and took her by the hand and lifted her up. Then the fever left her, and she began to serve them. (Mark 1:29-31)

2. That evening, at sundown, they brought to him all who were sick or possessed with demons. And the whole city was gathered around the door. And he cured many who were sick with various diseases, and cast out many demons; and he would not permit the demons to speak, because they knew him. (Mark 1:32-34)

3. In the morning, while it was still very dark, he got up and went out to a deserted place, and there he prayed. And Simon and his companions hunted for him. When they found him, they said to him, "Everyone is searching for you." (Mark 1:35-37)

4. He answered, "Let us go on to the neighboring towns, so that I may proclaim the message there also; for that is what I came out to do." And he went throughout Galilee, proclaiming the message in their synagogues and casting out demons. (Mark 1:38-39)

5. A leper came to him begging him, and kneeling he said to him, "If you choose, you can make me clean." Moved with pity, Jesus stretched out his hand and touched him, and said to him, "I do choose. Be made clean!" Immediately the leprosy left him, and he was made clean. After sternly warning him he sent him away at once, saying to him, "See that you say nothing to anyone; but go, show yourself to the priest, and offer for your cleansing what Moses commanded, as a testimony to them." But he went out and began to proclaim it freely, and to spread the word, so that Jesus could no longer go into a town openly, but stayed out in the country; and people came to him from every quarter. (Mark 1:40-45)

Ask the Matriarch - Dealing with Bad Behavior

2012-02-02T00:00:00.000-05:00

A lot of us don't like change. Some people will even go to great lengths to prevent it from happening, and this sometimes leads to bad behavior. What is the pastor's responsibility when confronted with such behavior? How does she lead the whole congregation and pastor to all those within it when some are behaving very badly? Our questioner this week would like to know:

I've been in my current call for 3 and a half years. Things are going well. For 99 percent of the congregation, at least. There is new energy, new visitors, people are excited about who we are and what we are about. BUT...(you knew it was coming...) there are a few people who are "poorly behaved". They don't want to see the church moving forward. This isn't about me, I know. Anyone in my position would be the focus of their ire.

The session of the church has been good at responding to these people pastorally, but making it clear that they can either get on board and go with us where God is leading us, or not. I am thankful for the leadership of the church through this.

My question is this--in caring for the 1%, how do I find the line between being pastoral to them and not allowing them to take all of my energy? I don't want to say "don't let the screen door hit your a$$ on the way out the door", but I'm also tired. Tired of their poor behavior. Tired of their unwillingness to engage positively. Tired of the abuse they keep trying to send my way. I can say "I know it isn't about me" all day long, but the fact remains, it is hurtful and exhausting to have people treat me so poorly.

And, after 3.5 years of this behavior, it is apparent that this isn't an issue of "once we understand each other better, things will be okay". This is but a chapter in a long history of their poor behavior that the church has put up with because it is the Christian thing to do.

Someone suggested I ignore them. Can I really do that to people in the congregation I've been called to serve? How does that really look? Do I walk past them and ignore them? I have told one of them that I will not read any more of his emails to me until he is willing to come in and talk to me, face to face, and apologize for the last email he sent me. (I also gave a copy of the email to the personnel committee and told them I wanted someone else to see what kind of treatment I was receiving at the hands of this particular member).

I am certain that the congregation I serve is not the only one with a history of putting up with bad behavior in the name of Jesus. So, how have you all dealt with this? I'm trying to only control my own function, really I am. But could use any tips.

Jennifer responds:

Ugh. These soul-sapping situations. They’re awful. I think you’re doing all of the right things. Have you copied your personnel committee when you respond to the 1%? If not, I’d suggest doing that, so that the offender knows that you’re reporting their bad behavior. All that and some sincere prayer for changed hearts might help. I don’t think you can ignore folks. I do think you can tell the truth to those who will listen and ask for their prayers and actions of support.

And Sharon writes:

How wonderful that 99% of the congregation is with you and supportive of your ministry! That is something to celebrate!

You have already figured out that this is normal and even to be expected at this stage of things. You have also responded well to the crisis with good pastoral techniques, among them: expecting and requesting good behavior, offering reconciliation avenues, and being open and honest and fair about what's going on.

This is a crisis in the classic sense that it is both "danger" and "opportunity." The danger is that the 1% will sap your energy and tarnish your obviously winsome leadership style. From what I hear, they really pose no other danger to you or the church. The opportunity is that they will either leave or get on board, and right now, you don't know which it will be.

So, don't ignore them outright -- that takes too much of the wrong kind of energy, in my experience -- but don't placate them either. Put yourself forth as totally non-anxious, incredibly attractive, and steely strong -- in other words, totally Spirit-filled and Spirit-led! Keep on addressing their actual requests seriously and kindly, making each response shorter and even more direct each time they repeat the same old thing. Shine light on what they are doing by being Christ-like with them and expecting ever higher standards of behavior from them.

And try this: Invite them to join in, i.e., call their bluff. For example: Someone says to me, "The benediction should be given with the pastor raising both hands above his (sic) head!" My response is to invite that person to come and be part of the Worship Committee where we make those kinds of plans and decisions. (Disclaimer: The preceding example might not have been either hypothetical or more than a week old!)

Above all, spend your time and energy on people who are working together toward the church's shared vision. Catch people doing good and appreciate them all over the place. Celebrate milestones playfully and, at times, extravagantly. And enjoy all of the very good fruit of the ministry you are planting there! Way to go!

Thanks for your wise and wonderful responses, matriarchs! Many of our sisters are at the Big Event this week, and we hope and pray they are having a soul-refreshing time. But I know that many of you are still out there, and we'd love for you to join this conversation. Do you have wisdom to share with our colleague? Do you have experiences that might offer some insight? Please take a moment to share in the comments section.

Our queue is empty again, so it's a great time to send us a question to discuss! Email us at askthematriarch[at]gmail[dot]com.

-- earthchick

Wednesday Festival - One Year

2012-02-01T00:00:00.000-05:00

Sister Kim, who blogs at Consider the Lilies, observed this week the one year anniversary of the day she made final vows in the Society of the Sacred Heart. Join the festival in the comments here or on Kim's blog with words of support or your own thoughts on special anniversaries in your ministry.

I don't know if it is everything that has happened in the course of this last year or something else, but I have to say that it feels like much more time than a year has passed since thirteen of us made final vows in Rome...But, whatever it feels like, the calendar says Yes, today is the one year anniversary! 30 January, 2011-30 January, 2012.I have reflected much today on what the "forever" of my ring means to me...and the wearing of my profession cross. And I realize yet again and also anew how deeply their significance touches my heart...that they are profoundly important symbols to me...symbols of what I want my life to say and more than say, to proclaim.I want my life to proclaim something of the fullness of Love and the complete welcome that God has for everyone. I want my life to proclaim its roots in God...roots that are woven around me as a nest that moves with me as I walk this journey with Jesus. I want my life to proclaim in my actions my own readiness to respond to the call of God... the call of God to fly--to go, to see, to touch, to smell, taste, hear, to create, to share, to walk in freedom-- the call of God to love as God loves, to listen, to live my humanity, to integrate, to teach, and to be taught by others, to go beyond; the call of God to walk, arms open wide, straight on, deeper and deeper into the Heart...with others...deeper and deeper into a more just world; deeper and deeper into a Love that challenges and draws me forth...deeper and deeper until discovery and revelation meet in the bend and become whole, one...Thank you, God, for the gift of my vocation, for the life you have given me to discover and reveal your Love, borne in the heart of Jesus.

Tuesday LEctionary LEanings -- Renewing our Strength Edition

2012-01-30T23:59:00.002-05:00

On Eagle's Wings

Let us open our week with prayer:

From the very first tale
told around family tables
to that last word written
in the book of time,
you tell us the story
of your love and joy.
From the foundation
laid in Eden's valleys
to the ever-open gates
of the new Jerusalem,
you build a home for
every single one of your children.
How good it is to sing your glory,
Heart of Creation!
Into the abandoned areas
of our lives, you come -
shushing the little imps
who whisper in our ears
of our failings and foolishness.
When we seem unable
to listen to your hopes for us,
you sit down at the edge of our hearts,
once again retelling the story
of your love and grace.
How good it is to sing your name,
Healer of broken lives.
When our dreams dry up
and turn to dust,
you gather them up
and shape them into
a future which surprises us.
When we would pull shut
the curtains of our compassion,
you yank them open,
so we can see those
we are called to serve.
How good it is to sing your peace,
Spirit of patience.
How good it is to sing your praises,
God in Community, Holy in One,
even as we pray as Jesus has taught us, saying,
Our Father . . .

As I opened links to prepare for TLL this week I was moved to wonder if anyone out there is doing something for the Presentation of the Lord/Candlemas this week (either on Thursday or moving it to Sunday)?? If you are, then the readings for that festival can be found here

However I am guessing that most Lectionary preachers will be working with the readings for Epiphany 5B. Those readings can be found here. And what does a quick glance show us this week?

Isaiah seems the perfect passage for those who need to be renewed and lifted up. Which one of us wouldn't like to be recipients of the blessing in the final verse here? Or then there is a joke about how hard it is to soar like eagles when one is surrounded by....maybe we best not go there.
Does anyone ever preach on the Psalm reading? So often it is seen as a supporting reading only. But this one has such promise of support and protection. There must be a sermon in there somewhere.
Corinthians. Paul's claims he is free to be "all things to all people". Modern writers tell us we shouldn't do that, we should be transparently ourselves. And yet isn't a successful politician or speaker one who can translate her/his message into language and imagery that reaches a particular audience? Was Paul putting on a mask or translating a message?
And then there is Mark. Following directly on from last week's reading we have more healings. And then we return to being renewed. Or at least an attempt at it. Why do I understand the feeling of going to a quiet place for renewal only to have people come find and interrupt me?????

Abandoning or leading?

Anyone Doing this?

Which way do you feel led this week? Or are you off-lectionary and doing something else? It is also Annual Meeting season, how does the Annual Meeting impact your worship planning for that Sunday? All this and more in the comments!

And of course it is Super Bowl Sunday!

Monday Extra: Devotionals for Lent

2012-01-30T05:00:00.000-05:00

Looking for a devotional for Lent? You can choose from two RevGal authors, Ruth Everhart and MaryAnn McKibben Dana.

A Lenten Pilgrimage was written by Ruth Huizenga Everhart, a Presbyterian minister and author living in Sterling, Va., wrote these Lenten prayers and reflections following her own recent pilgrimage to Israel/Palestine.

She writes: “The gift of pilgrimage changed my faith. As a pilgrim, I felt Scripture seeping further down into my being. I came to realize that being a pilgrim is not about traveling to a particular place as much as immersing oneself in the Spirit-filled past so it can infuse our present.”

A Lenten Pilgrimage is published by the General Assembly Mission Council of the Presbyterian Church (USA). Follow the link above for order information, including discounts for multiple copies.

Fellowship of Prayer 2012 Lenten Season comes from Chalice Press. With daily readings, meditations, and prayers, Fellowship of Prayer is the perfect seasonal devotion for this holy time of year. Author MaryAnn McKibben Dana is the pastor of Idylwood Presbyterian Church in Falls Church, Va. Her book on her family’s experience of taking a Sabbath day each week for a year will be published in 2012. It is also available in e-PDF format.

Ruth and MaryAnn are both also part of the Writing Revs, a writing group whose members have included Carol Howard Merritt and Jan Edmiston. What a powerhouse group, and such a great support to one another.

We're proud of all the authors in our webring. If you have a book or devotional coming out, or want us to link to an article, let us know by emailing RevGalBlogPals!

Sunday Prayer: Epiphany 4B

2012-01-29T01:00:00.001-05:00

Praise God, give thanks to God with your whole heart!
Great is God's mercy, justice, and faithfulness,
now, and, for ever.

Oh God, help us to be mindful of others that we may
tend to those who are hungry with food and
those who are thirsty may have water.
Use us, Oh God, to help build up the body
of Christ, to be nourishment and
a compassionate hand to those in need.

Holy Divine One, be with those tonight who weep,
those who suffer in mind, body, or spirit,
bring them comfort, as only you can.
Bring them your peace. Turn their despair
into a glimmer of hope, a hope for hope.
In your mercy, tend to those who weep.

God of justice, guide the leaders of this
and every land to the ways of compassion,
dignity of others, and just societies.
Instill in them courage and wisdom
strength to do the right thing
courage to face into the bitterness of greed
and turn their fear or apathy or selfishness
into kindness.

God, Holy One, lead us. Today and always
into the fullness of your desire, into
the depth of grace, into the strong arms
of your mercy. Teach us to be your people.
Teach us to follow you. Teach us to be your
hands, your heart, your love, your compassion,
your mercy, in all we say and do.
Amen.

11th Hour Preacher Party: Y'all Come!

2012-01-28T01:00:00.001-05:00

It's what I always loved hearing when I lived in the south. "Y'all come!" It somehow meant that at the same time the party could have a lot of people, but I'd feel like a special part of it.

I imagine our party today will be an intimate one. Everyone will have a place at the table. Y'all come! Pull up a comfy chair and warm yourself up with a cup of joe.

A number of our regulars will boarding the Big Event 5.0 ship this afternoon while the faithful remnant are left behind preparing sermons. OK. Kidding. Mostly. Our prayers are most definitely with them all as they push off to enjoy the fellowship of the community we build here "virtually" day after day, week after week, or maybe even less regularly.

In fact, if you are a newcomer or "lurker" who hasn't posted much before if at all, I invite you to join us this week out loud. It's likely to be a slower paced party which means we get to spend more time with each other's thoughts, struggles, AND celebrations.

I ask your forgiveness for what will be my absence early (by US standards) in the day. An early morning meeting a couple of hour away snuck up on my calendar early this week. I'll be gone until mid-to-late afternoon, but I know there are plenty of friendly folks around to keep things going in my absense. I'm looking forward to joining back in later in the day. May the Spirit bless your preparation and ministry this day!

Odds and ends Friday Five...

2012-01-27T07:05:00.002-05:00

I have had a ridiculously busy week so apologies for the fact that this is rushed and even a bit late, but here goes, even in the busyness of the week what has

1. Inspired you
2. Challenged you
3. Made you smile
4. Made you cross/ made you want to weep
5.Kept you going?

As always, let us know in comments if you play. Even better, get in the habit of posting a direct link to your blog entry in your comment, using the following formulation:
<a href="the url of your blog post goes here">what you want the link to say goes here</a>
For a complete how-to, click here.

Ask the Matriarch - Product Parties

2012-01-26T07:02:00.000-05:00

Our question this week is an interesting and tricky one, and one I'm betting many of us have had to deal with. As far as I know, our male counterparts don't typically encounter this particular issue, and it's not something I ever learned about navigating in seminary!

Since I've been at my first call, I've gotten several invitations to home parties - the ones where someone is selling jewelry, home decor items, kitchen stuff. Before I became a pastor, I normally only went to the parties if it was for a really good friend, or I liked the brand. Personally, I find much of the stuff to be overpriced and I don't like feeling like I have to buy something that I really don't need or want.

As a pastor, I'm concerned that if I attend someone's party but not someone else's, it will offend the one whose party I don't attend. And I would feel like I had to buy something to be nice.

Is it part of my pastoral function to attend all these home parties? How do other revgals handle the invitations?

kathrynzj writes:
GREAT question!

When I was in a church of 150 members, I went to them, but I would not change plans in order to go. And yes, I came and went without buying anything. Now I am in a larger congregation and I go to none. If I actually want something (I like a certain brand's bread mix) - I get it from a non-church going friend.

And I know you didn't ask, but in a similar vein - kids selling stuff? At the smaller church I bought one something from each of them who asked me (if their parents brought it to me I told them gently to have the child ask me themselves). In the larger church I buy nothing from anyone nor does my kid solicit at church. The bill would just add up to too much.

Good luck!

Muthah+ responds:

This is one of those barrier-straddling things of parish ministry that is difficult. Used to be that if you could buy locally as a pastor you did. You bought your car from the car dealer in the parish, your medical care was often a doctor or dentist in the congregation, your insurance was carried by a local agent. Many of your needs were provided by in-kind donations from the community you served from eggs to carpeting. And in the good ole days the young curates were paired up with local daughters and they lived happily ever after. (yeah, right!)

The Baby Boom changed all that. Everyone after the 1960's caught the entrepreneurial bug and economics became the name of the game, not the commonweal. Here endeth the history lesson.

Personally I hate those kinds of parties. And I know that many of those parties come from the party giver's need to sell. However, I do not need to buy. When someone invites you, you can explain quietly to the hostess that you do get invited to many of these kinds of parties and you cannot buy from them all. If they want you there because you are a friend, go and do not feel obligated to buy. Most of them will understand. If they don't, then you don't want to give your imprimatur to their parties.

And Sharon offers:

I served in one very rural ministry context and those parties were a big part of the social life of the congregation and the community. In that place, I went to all the ones to which I was invited. I could always find a little something that I could save for a family Christmas gift. Looking back, that was the right decision to make there.

In the other churches, I have just thanked each person for the invitation and declined each one. I do regularly buy a category of things that are offered at those kinds of parties. I get those things now from someone who is not connected to my church. If I lived closed to my relatives or to my friends not related to the church I serve, I would be fine with picking and choosing some of their parties to attend.

Whether it's about these kinds of parties or the stuff that kids sell for school and clubs, the important thing is to think through your reasons for doing what you will do, or won't do. Then respond consistently with all the members of your congregation.

My experience is that your church people will understand your decision to not attend their party or to not buy their kids' stuff. They will not as easily understand your decision to say "yes" to some and "no" to others.

Great responses, matriarchs. Thank you!! What about the rest of you? What are your words of wisdom? Please share in the comments section. And as always, if you have a question you'd like the matriarchs to discuss, please send it to us at askthematriarch[at]gmail[dot]com.

-earthchick

Wednesday Festival: An Answered Prayer

2012-01-25T03:00:00.000-05:00

Kathryn's feet (r) in Cozumel, 2008, BE 1. Also one of Martha's.

This week's post comes from one of our founding ring member's, Kathryn, an Anglican vicar who blogs at Good in Parts. Those of us who've had the chance to meet Kathryn, who was with us on BE 1, will surely hear this in her lovely voice, as she brings us a redemptive word. Please leave her *your* lovely comments here or at her blog.

An answered prayer

"Lord, redeem my foul-ups" is often a good prayer to have on your lips...and two weeks ago, when it seemed to me that said foul-ups were reaching hitherto undreamed of depths, I prayed it alot..and then some more!
You know that a week is going badly when the funeral for a still-born babe is not the hardest thing you have to cope with...but why I'm blogging now is because, most wonderfully, my fervent prayer was actually answered.

You see, two weeks ago I discovered that I had been living inside my very own version of the Christmas edition of Rev.
In case you managed to miss this (honestly - the series is far too searingly close to the reality of clerical life to count as comedy - it's far closer to documentary, imho) , poor, wonderfully human Adam gets so seasonally harassed that he fails to visit an elderly parishioner - until it's too late.
In the week before Christmas I received a similar request - from someone who spends most of his life on the edge of society, having been homeless for a long time, and with most of the associated problems.
And being over busy, and rather nervous of the prospect of visiting a somewhat volatile guy and his housemate on their home turf, I tried to phone once, failed to get through, and moved on to the next item on the "seasonal busyness" list.

And, just as happened to Adam, I was shown the flaw in my prioritising when a very angry visitor at the vicarage informed me that his housemate was dead - and what sort of a sorry apology for a priest did I call myself anyway!
And of course he was right.
Fear prevented me from doing the right thing.
I took refuge in doing other things and let my needs trump those of the people I am here to serve.
So, I felt pretty wretched.

But the following day I was given another opportunity to respond - and got to a bedside in time.
And then, wonderfully, against all expectations, I found myself trusted to take J's funeral.

It happened yesterday.
Just a small gathering in church...a handful of volunteers and clients of our local homeless project; a community police officer; a wonderfully warm and gentle funeral director; and a sober and dignified friend.
The flower printed cardboard coffin which had seemed (if I'm honest) just a wee bit naff in the catalogue was reassuringly, delightfully homely and beautiful in reality. You could imagine it sitting comfortably in an ordinary room...not claiming false dignity or pomp...
"I'm here..part of life's reality you know...And it can be surprisingly beautiful".
I found myself touching it and interacting with it in ways that I rarely do with those highly polished coffins that seem to be set on hiding the truth of the death that lies within.
Somehow the beautiful fragility of the coffin, that mirrored the fragility of the life that had ended - a life of hardship, alienation, struggle and, I believe, acceptance.

J had loved flowers - and the church was still beautiful with the flowers left from a far grander funeral last week, which made me smile.
I wept too, as J's best friend read some wonderful words that J himself had written reflecting on his life, his future and his hopes.
A member of the "Marah" family talked of his memories and read to us from The Message
We sang and we prayed and we sat in silence.
Some of the language I use for more conventional funerals just didn't find a place...but the right words came from somewhere.
And then we followed J across town to the beautiful hillside cemetery and it was somehow incredibly right to be there, to take it in turns to throw handfuls of rich dark earth onto the coffin, to listen as S told us more about his friend, to delight as the sun broke through the clouds and the birds began to sing, a fragile chorus that promised spring to come.

We left S settling down with a drink in the sun...I pray that he'll be alright in the days ahead. Yesterday, we stood on holy ground together.

Tuesday Lectionary Leanings -- Who has Authority? Edition

2012-01-24T00:05:00.000-05:00

Agnus Day

Greetings to all! Another Sunday cometh, and for those of us who are not going cruising that means another sermon is due in a few days. The readings for Epiphany 4B can be found here.

It always seems to me that the best worship preparation is begun with prayer {prayer source}:

O God,

we puff ourselves up with accumulated knowledge,

but without love for you we have no wisdom.

We take advantage of the liberty you give us through grace,

and become bad examples to our sisters and brothers.

We alternate between fear of your authority

and denial of your authority.

We dread to face our demons,

and we are faithless in the presence of your power over them.

Save us Lord from the sins we know,

save us Lord from the sins we hide.

(pause for reflection and self-examination)

Our Lord Jesus Christ, the son of God, has come into our world with authority. The authority to destroy the demons that haunt us: our past, or weakness, our sin, our grief, our loss, our frailty, our mortal nature. Through Christ’s faithfulness our loving God grants us the forgiveness of all our sins and the promise of eternal life. Through faith offered by the Holy Spirit we may count on God’s intervening power, and live redeemed lives in the name of the Father, and the Son, + and the Holy Spirit.

Amen.

A lot about authority this week. Where does authority come from? Who has it? How do we respond? Oh and along the way, what makes a true prophet?

Are you drawn to the Jewish longing for a prophet like Moses? Or maybe there are a few "prophets" you would like to experience the promise at the end of the Deuteronomy reading (yes, wishing such a thing is not "proper" but if we are honest...).

Jesus Teaching in the Temple

Or maybe you find yourself drawn to Paul and meat. And it is a puzzling question about how we interact with the culture around us. What would you say are the equivalent issues in our world today? How would you respond if you were asked the same question?

And then we have Jesus, and the authority issue. Not like the scribes. And even the unclean spirits listen to him. What sort of authority is this? Something new is happening?

Where is worship taking you this week? Is there an article or blog post that you want to share with the rest of us? Maybe you aren't preaching but have a great thought about what you would do "if only". Share in the comments so we can all learn together...

RevGalBookPals: Writing to God -- Kid's Edition

2012-01-23T09:48:00.000-05:00

Do you have a young person in your family or faith community who asks you, "How do I pray?" Ring member Rachel Hackenberg's wonderful new book, Writing to God -- Kids' Edition, is a great resource for exploring prayer at a late-elementary to middle-school level.

Rachel is also the author of Writing to God: 40 Days of Praying with My Pen, a guide to praying during Lent.

In the Kids' Edition, Rachel brings creative suggestions and guidance for writing prayers to a kid's level. She explores ways to pray by writing about six Ideas: things you experience with all five senses, by writing about your feelings, Bible verses, nature, ordinary things that happen in life, trying new words and pictures for God and telling God thank you. She explores each Idea with a variety of possibilities for exploration, including sample prayers, and the book will include open space to be used for writing prayers.

The book begins conversationally:

Hi! My name is Rachel.

When I was a girl, I wasn’t sure howto pray. Should I use fancy church words? Should I put my hands together andclose my eyes? (Closing my eyes usually put me to sleep.) Should I pray for thewhole entire world? And how could I pray for the whole entire world if I didn’tknow the name of every person . . . or the name of every place and every plantand every animal?

Her voice in writing for children is very natural and invitational. She assures children that you can pray, or write prayers, wherever you are.

Here's a sample from the section on praying with your sense of smell:

These are some of the things that I am thankful for smelling, God:

chocolate cookies baking in the oven

a hamster cage that needs to be cleaned

the kind-of-good, kind-of-stinky smell of mudafter rain

smoke from a campfire

This listdoesn’t look like a prayer, but I thank God for the sense of smell toexperience the odors of life!

Here's another, from the section on Bible verses:

John 11:35 isone of the shortest verses in the Bible. It just says, “Jesus cried.” Have youever thought about Jesus crying? In John 11:35, Jesus cries because his friendLazarus has died, and he cries because he’s sad to see Mary and Martha crying.God gets sad when people are hurting or crying . . . and God hears us whenwe’re sad. Write to God about crying.

I don’t often cry in front of other people. One day I wrote this prayerafter I closed my bedroom door:

Jesus, do you hear me crying

when I hide my tears in the pillow?

Elene (age 5) prays:

Dear God, You knowhow I almost fell off my bike the other day? Remember when I was riding homefrom Chris’s house? It was getting dark

so I rode my bikevery fast to get home. Did you know how scared

I was? Reallyscared! So scared I was crying. Love, Elene

The sample prayers from children are great, although Rachel's prayers are also at a great level for encouraging kids to write their own.

Because the book is still in the pre-order phase, I have only seen illustrations for the introduction. They show children of a variety of cultural backgrounds and ages, as well as common images from a child's life, and appear to be very accessible. I can't wait to see the actual book! Rachel says, "The official release date for the book is in March, but in fact Paraclete Press hopes to have the finished product in-hand by the end of January so that it can be in bookstores and online in time for Lent."

(Paraclete Press and Rachel Hackenberg provided RevGalBlogPals with a manuscript and PDF of this soon-to-be-published book for purposes of review. There was no promise of a particular outcome!)

Sunday Prayer: Epiphany 3B

2012-01-22T01:00:00.001-05:00

In the still small voice of the rain,
in the wind of the sea, and the warmth of sun
in the deep of night and the heart of day
when we least anticipate it, God calls.

Surely God is always near, right here,
Or, over there.
Surely there are times we know not where.
But surely there are occasions when we turn
When we go regardless, and follow Jesus
Down the unsuspecting twisting road
When we walk with God
because
God walks with us.

In these moments, when we are certain we are lost
When God beckons us and then waits until we turn
To see, to feel, to know, to recognize
God with us.
When sorrow catches a glimpse of hope
When suffering is wrapped in mercy
When despair is held in grace and love
When God is God and there is peace
Peace in our hearts, for that moment
Let us pray.

11th Hour Preacher Party: "One Fish, Two Fish, I Fish, You Fish" Edition

2012-01-21T01:00:00.000-05:00

I see fish.

Fish I see.

Fish as big as fish can be.

Jonah hiding in a fish.

Jonah saved by prayer and wish.

Jonah preaches and saves a a town.

God's mind is changed all around.

Simon, Andrew with boats in the sea

With James and John called Zebedee

Net strange work with you and me

In Jesus' call: "New fishing for thee"

Which way will you go
As you go with the flow?

A fishing lesson at Galilee's sea?

Is that your preaching cup of tea?

Or will you tell a big fish tale?

Bring light to Jonah's time in the whale?

Perhaps you have another way
Something else you're called to say?

A children's message I seek -- or two

I'll put some coffee on to brew

Bring a snack you have to share

And, pretty soon, we'll all be there!

* * * * * * *

And always:

"Be who you are and say what you feel,

because those who mind don't matter,

and those who matter, don't mind."

(Dr. Seuss)

* * * * * * *

Friday Five: Movies

2012-01-20T08:56:00.002-05:00

Thinking of movie-watching, what do you prefer?

1. At home or at a theater?
2. With whom?
3. Movie you look forward to seeing?
4. Movie you like to see repeatedly?
5. Food with a movie?

Bonus: Recommendations for home/theater viewing.

Please link as always!

Ask the Matriarch - Top Ten Tips for a New Call

2012-01-19T00:00:00.000-05:00

Our question this week comes from a minister who has just begun a new call and is looking for some wisdom from her colleagues. She writes:

This week I started a new (part-time, interim, but you've got to start somewhere) call at a small, rural church. I spent my first four years in ministry as an associate, so this is my first time as a solo pastor. What are your top ten tips for getting off to a good start in a new call?

Great question! And the matriarchs have some great answers. Read on:

Jennifer writes:
1 - Listen.
2 - Invite people to share their stories.
3 - Ask people about their hopes and concerns.
4 - Talk with the oldest and the youngest.
5 - Spend time with people who have a harder time getting to worship.
6 - Listen.
7 - Get to know your neighbors and community partners.
8 - Listen to other staff/judicatory leaders/other folks about their sense of things with your new congregation.
9 - Pray and listen.
10 - Listen for and respond to the Spirit's unique transforming message through all of the above.

Muthah+ offers:

Be yourself but be respectful of them. They have been church for a long time and will be a long time after you leave.
An interim gig is a tough one for a brand new pastor. Know the work you must do as an interim. Know what the parameters of your ministry are from your judicatory and what you are expected to do as an interim by the parish. Make sure that your congregation is aware of those structures. Part-time can get VERY sticky if you do not set up what you can do in the x number of hours you are scheduled to work. All too often you will end up working full-time and then set up false expectations for the church for future pastors.
Often times Interims are when parishioners are scared and bereft--they are not at their best. They may just want to take it out on you. Keep detached from their frustrations for the interim process. Do not allow yourself to take on their complaints as your own. You are just the focal point for their frustration. Detachment is the name of the game.
Listen, Listen, Listen. It is the hardest thing for many preachers to do. If there are kids in the parish go to their school events if possible.
Visit anyone older than 50 and/or anyone who is home during the day-time. Always call first. This is still important to the older members of small towns. If they aren't working, visit. If they don't want you to visit in their home, take them out to the local beanery and have lunch or a soda.
Figure out who the matriarchs and patriarchs are in the parish. They will be doing most of the ministry. You will be only the chaplain but they need to know you are available. Work with these men and women even when they seem to be wrong. Cajole them into the newness rather than butt heads with them. They have more cache with the parish than you will ever have no matter how long you are there. And be aware of the parish divisions or cliques or 'families' that they represent.
Do not expect them to change for you. They have had so many pastors over the years that they see clergy as a flash in the pan. Try to get them to describe for you their experiences of previous pastors and what the liked. (Try not to let them tell you horror stories--but help them dwell on what they liked in previous pastors so they can figure out what they want for the future.)
Do as much teaching as they can tolerate. It may be just a few parishioners who will come to adult ed. things but do what you can to raise the educational level in the congregation.
Visit hospitals and nursing homes. In rural situations it is a must. You may see some horrific things. They need you there as an ombudsman.
Love 'em even when they aren't lovely.

And kathrynzj puts it this way:

Interim and part-time in a small, rural church?

1 - Visit

2 - Visit

3 - Visit

4 - Learn about their "family" dynamics

5 - Lead good worship.

6-10 - Repeat 1-5

It is very hard to keep within the boundaries of part-time hours but for both yourself and the person who is going to come next, please do your best.

Prayers ascending for you and this new call to ministry!

Hmm, I'm sensing a theme here, and it has to do with listening! Really good, solid advice, all the way around, from our dear matriarchs. What say the rest of you? What would you add to what has already been said? Any anecdotes to share from your own similar experiences? Please join the conversation in our comments section. And, as always, if you have a question you'd like the matriarchs to discuss, send us an email at askthematriarch[at]gmail[dot]com.

Who Are We?

2012-01-18T08:09:00.002-05:00

This fall, my congregation did an exercise: we asked everyone to come up with one word describing our church, and we put all those words into a Wordle and used the various fun word clouds we created as bulletin covers, stewardship advertising, and artwork around the building. It was insightful as well as pretty.

Now I'm working on a project...not a one-word project, necessarily, but something along those lines, and I need your help!

I'm looking for the word(s), phrase, or sentence you would use to describe RevGalBlogPals. Who are we? What are we? Who and what are we for you? What does being part of RGBP mean to you, your life, your ministry? What's your experience of our community?
I promise to post the beauty, whatever form it takes (it could be a wordle, it could be a hymn, it could be...well...lots of things!), when it's done! Thanks!

Tuesday Lectionary Leanings -- Gone Fishin' Edition

2012-01-16T23:59:00.036-05:00

CHristian Unity 1

Christian Unity 2

In this week of Prayer for Christian Unity (Jan 18-25) let us pray together [prayer source]:
Almighty God,
Through Jesus you say to us
that whoever wishes to be first must become the least and the servant of all.
We enter into your presence,
knowing that your victory is won through the powerlessness of the cross.
We come to pray that your church may be one.
Teach us to accept humbly that this unity is a gift of your Spirit;
Through this gift, change and transform us
and make us more like your Son Jesus Christ. AMEN

SO this is yet another week with multiple options. Is there a tradition of acknowledging the Week of PRayer in your congregation, in your area? If so, how do you generally do that?

Or then there is the Lectionary. The readings for Epiphany 3B can be found here

Calling the Fishers

The story by the seashore always fascinates me. I can't help but wonder what would make me jump up and leave everything behind at the spur of the moment. So far I haven't come up with anything. But in Mark's version there is also a "passing of the torch" feel to the story since it follows right on the arrest of John. And yet "the time is nigh" for change, for a new world -- as both Jesus and Paul point out. Two millenia later is the time still nigh?

Or then there is Jonah. What DOES one do with Jonah: his reluctance, the fish episode, his preaching, his bitterness at being a successsful preacher...? Can you in fact preach on Jonah without telling the whole story?

And so, where are you going this week? What will people be talking about in your congregations?

Monday Extra: Recording sermons

2012-01-16T04:00:00.000-05:00

A ring member is preparing materials for her ordination interview, and one of the new requirements in our United Church of Christ Association is a sermon DVD. I'm going to help her with the loan of both a sanctuary and a Flip video camera. It made me wonder about the range of technical capabilities available around the ring.

If you needed to provide someone with a video sermon, would you be able to do it?
And what if you needed to do it without making things completely obvious to your congregation?
Anyone podcasting sermons, using either audio or video?
Any suggestions for adding technology at church on a limited budget?

Please use the comments to share what you're doing.

Sunday Prayer: Epiphany 2B/Martin Luther King, Jr

2012-01-15T01:00:00.001-05:00

Holy God, may we hear your voice
In the stillness of night, in clatter of day
You call us, and we respond,
Here I am!
May we follow you and
May we love as you love.

Holy One, through trials and turbulence
Make us steady, your hands
Holding strong the fragile and weak
May we love as you love.

Gracious God, may the fruits of our lives
be food for the hungry, bread
clothing, shelter, fire, water, Word
May we love as you love.

God of justice, remove the barriers
Of our lives that keep us from
One another, barriers we construct
Based on skin color, religion, or gender
May we hear, and follow, graciously.
May we love as you love.

Loving God, take this day our fears our
Worries, distractions, and all
Turn them into grace and mercy,
And, following the example of Martin Luther King, Jr.
and all your Saints,
May we love as you love.

Amen

11th Hour Preacher Party: Fearfully and Wonderfully Edition

2012-01-14T01:00:00.000-05:00

Hello, Preachers!

Are you ready to write?

What's your text for tomorrow? We have an array of options, all of which find God all up in our business, waking Samuel in the night, declaring things that astound Nathanael and just generally knowing every darn thing there is to know about every single one of us.

(And about that other passage, well, if you're preaching about, ahem, members, I'd like to hear about it in the comments.)

Wherever you're headed, we're all in this together. Join us and have some coffee; I promise to keep it coming. Share something good from your house, too. This table is big enough for all!

Friday Five Recommendation Edition

2012-01-13T00:00:00.001-05:00

So, it's the time of year I get inundated with requests for recommendations for students that are looking to be camp counselors. So in honor of camp counselors everywhere, today's Friday Five is the Recommendation edition (which has nothing to do with camp or summer or anything--work with me, it's late....)

1.   Recommend a favorite worship resource or devotional book.
2.   Recommend a blog that you like to read that you think others might find enjoyable.
3.   Recommend a fiction book that you think people might like.
4.   Recommend a favorite recipe website.   O.k., if you aren't into cooking or food, then just recommend a random website that you find useful, hilarious, mind numbing or thought provoking.
5. And for the last recommendation--it's bloggers' choice! Make a recommendation for anything!

As always, let us know that you played in the comments by directly linking to your post using this formula:
<a href="the URL of your blog post goes here">what you want the link to say goes here</a>

If that doesn't make sense, Here are detailed directions on how to directly link to your post .

I highly recommend that you start making recommendations now!

Ask the Matriarch - Encouraging the Tithe

2012-01-12T00:00:00.001-05:00

Last week, we had quite a lively discussion during our Wednesday Festival, which was on "Ten things we can do if we really want to change the church." Out of that conversation came a question that the matriarchs decided to tackle this week. It was the 24th comment in that particular discussion, if you want to check it out, and it is to the point:

How does one motivate a congregation to tithe? Preaching has no effect at all. What does?

Muthah+ responds:

Stewardship has never been my strong suit. I have served in relatively smaller congregations most of my career. But it was never my strong suit because 'we really didn't need it'---she says with some trepidation.

Tithing has to do with commitment and a fairly sophisticated understanding of what giving means to our spirituality. I never preached the 'tithe'. I always looked at tipping at 15% or 20% was expected but for some reason we had a hard time with the 10% tithe. I would talk about giving as a discipline. My last stewardship chair "got it." She told me that in their family they started with the tithe and then tried to figure out how they could give more. But she was never able to get that across to many members because they were still thinking of the tithe as "dues."

People give as they are invested in the parish. It is as simple as that. That is stewardship. And so I would try to get new comers involved in the parish as soon as I could. I would try to find ways that all members could find something to get involved with, if it was just folding bulletins or mowing the grass. Now as adjunct staff in a larger congregation, I still try to do this finding that the personal touch of involving newcomers in some part of the parish program allows them to get involved quickly in the life of the parish.

But as a person becomes more sophisticated in their journey with Christ they begin to realize that giving is part of the discipline of "clean living". ( I use that term in place of "righteousness' because that has become so accreted with negativity.) But as I have come closer to God, I have found that 'simplicity' has more to do with my giving patterns than does the tithe. "How can I give in a way to free myself of ME and STUFF and so I can be more open to the Christ within me?"

And kathrynzj writes:

Well, if we knew the answer to this we'd be sharing our book and seminar royalties!

Here are some of the things I've seen go well:

1) Talk about stewardship as a whole (time and talent) and actually mean it,

2) Talk about stewardship not just at one time of the year. I know we all agree with this, but how many of us actually make it a discipline to preach on it once a month.

3) Share your own story - NOT in November, but in a less pressured time. I know I've shared how my family was working towards a tithe (we weren't there yet) and folks responded to it.

4) Practice asking people for money (in the mirror, to other clergy, or a family member - whatever) then go into the living rooms and ask. Generally speaking, the $ is out there folks are just choosing to give it somewhere else. It is FAR more exciting to buy a cow or a flock of geese (nothing against Heifer) than it is to stuff a check into a 'General Fund' envelope every week/month

Not a fix all, but some suggestions. Great question!

And Ruth adds:

It’s worth looking at a scheme called ‘The Responsibility is Ours – TRIO’ - if you Search-engine it you’ll see quite a few examples from the UK.
Hope that helps.

I agree with Kathryn, this is a great question, and I'm interested to hear what more of you have to say. I personally feel very strongly about the tithe and have practiced it since I was child (I was taught about tithing in church, Sunday School, and girls' mission groups). I have preached it and taught it every way I know how. But I don't think I've been very persuasive, because I don't have much evidence that many people in my congregation think it's even a valid goal to work towards. Honestly, I'm having the most success with my own children - I think it's so much easier to start tithing when you're only getting $5 a week. This leads me to think that starting with our kids and youth might yield more fertile ground - not that I'm willing to let the adults off the hook!

Please join this conversation, especially if you have some experience to share about something that is working in your own congregation! Of course, discussing the struggles of teaching and preaching the tithe is welcome, too! Join us in the comments! And, as always, if you have a question you'd like the matriarchs to discuss, please email it to us at askthematriarch[at]gmail[dot]com.

-- earthchick

Wednesday Festival: Shameless Self-Promotion

2012-01-11T16:11:00.003-05:00

Some of you know that RevGalBlogPals has another blog, "A Place for Prayer." A faithful team of posters puts prayers up most days of the week, some original and some drawn from wide resources for inspiration.

I happen to think everyone should see the one from yesterday.

I also happen to know the prayer blog gets about 10% the visitors of this blog, so let me encourage you by linking and re-posting here. Add it to your feed reader! Leave a prayer request or thought.

It's from revkjarla, who also blogs at amazing bongos, and it's entitled A Tuesday Prayer Meme.

(actually, I am not sure what a meme is, but it sounds good....)

Take a couple of moments, and just breathe centering breaths....
And then,

1. Give thanks for something you are looking forward to....
2. Offer a prayer for a colleague whom you know needs prayer
3. Pray for yourself...
4. Pray for someone who really 'bugs' you (like a frenemy)
5. Pray for a place in the world for which you have concern...
6. Offer a blessing
7. Breathe a few more centering/cleansing breathes.....
8. Be silent
9. Listen
10. Be silent
11. Amen

Tuesday Lectionary Leanings -- Voice in the Night edition

2012-01-10T00:30:00.000-05:00

Come and See

As our week's preparation begins (or continues), let us pray [prayer source]:

It doesn't matter

how far we go

to run from you,

God-who-calls-us:

you reach out

and touch us

with healing in your hands,

and turn us around

so we can follow you home.

It doesn't matter

how suspicious

we are of you,

God-who-invites-us-to follow:

you remove our fears

with your compassion,

you take away our doubts

complete acceptance

of who we are.

It doesn't matter

how often

we ignore your words,

God-who-speaks-to-us:

you whisper to us

until our ears

tingle with anticipation

and we listen

with eager hope.

God in Community, Holy in One,

continue to call us by name,

even as we pray in the name

of the One who has taught us to say,

Our Father . . .

I have to admit that I found myself in a quandry this week. Not one but TWO of my favourite scripture passages in the same week! Which one to preach on???? Oh but first maybe we should point out that the RCL readings for this week (2nd After Epiphany, Year B) can be found here.

Psalm 139 from this great site

SO we have God's voice coming to a young child in the dead of the night--and a teacher who is a little slow to figure out what is happening.
OR we have the Psalmist proclaiming the God who knows him intimately. I have to wonder if this is blessing or curse though. If we are honest, aren't there parts of our lives and selves we would sometimes wish NOBODY knew about?
OR, maybe you want to take on Paul and the Corinthian church. Is it about sexual ethics only or is there an extension to be made here?
OR, do you want to go with the Gospel. Is it a call/response story or an evangelism moment?

Where do you see worship taking you this week? Any ideas for a children's time on any of the passages (I have to admit that a Children's Time using the actual words of the Corinthians passage would be interesting to watch)? What are the questions that are driving your sermon forward this week? What hymns do you hear in your head? Any articles/blogs you have read that you want to share? Let us know in the comments.

The LATE JEsus Christ?

Big Event 5.0 Opening!!!

2012-01-09T13:07:00.000-05:00

We have a last minute opening for our Big Event 5.0, "Take the Book out of the Box." Details of the cruise are available at this link. If you might be able to come with us, please contact me directly for more information. Come join us!

a new year, some new members...

2012-01-09T08:24:00.001-05:00

As the holiday excitement dies down and we get into a new 2012 routine, perhaps it's time we add some new blogs to our routine! Here are a few ideas for you--our newest RevGalBlogPal members!

RevDonna is contemplating Scripture and looking for your insights...pop over and join the conversation!

CindiK is "a seminarian who wants to one day build new communities of faith for believers who have given up on traditional church; a motorcyclist who likes to take really long trips; a guitarist who has more passion for playing than talent; a dabbler in improvisational theater; an occasional poet and novelist; a human being trying to find her way."

Shannan is a Presbyterian pastor in New Jersey, a part of the Presbyterian Peace Fellowship, a wife and mother, a writer, and works extensively on issues of nonviolence. Much of her work centers around Colombia, which is both her husband's first home and her focus with the PPF.

Meredith "is an Episcopal Priest serving as the Associate Rector at St. Mary’s Episcopal Church in Cypress, Texas. She is passionate about mission, formation and worship. When she is not doing her part in God’s work here in the world, she is probably hanging out with friends and family, traveling, reading, doing something craft related, re-learning the piano, keeping up with scientific journals, finding a way to get to the beach or planning the next scuba trip."

And one old friend has moved to a new home: Jan of PreacherMom is now at SimplyJan. Update your blogroll!

Stop by and offer a warm RGBP welcome to our new friends in this new year!

Sunday Afternoon Music Videos: From Sheba they came

2012-01-08T13:18:00.003-05:00

Advent has so much music, it cries out for a return to a six week season. Meanwhile, the short season of Christmastide has an even shorter repertoire to draw on. Many of us are caroled out by now, and wondering if there is anything suitable for the season beyond "We Three Kings." In short, yes! This gorgeous Bach cantata was first performed for Dreikönigsfest — the feast of the Epiphany — in 1724. The unknown librettist has the tenor offer in his recitative, not the standard gifts but

The gold of faith, the frankincense of pray'r,
The myrrh of patience, these now are my off'rings

What gifts, musical or otherwise, were exchanged in your celebrations today, be they of Epiphany or of the Baptism of Our Lord? Share with us in the comments!

Arvo Pärt's haunting Anthem of John the Baptist would be an apt and gentle way to end the Christmas season (regardless of whether you celebrated Baptism of the Lord today or not). I couldn't find an online version, but it is on iTunes and well worth the listen.

Sunday Prayer: Baptism of Jesus/Epiphany

2012-01-08T01:00:00.003-05:00

Holy and Gracious God, speaking into our lives
The voice of the LORD is glory and strength,
The voice of the Lord is holy splendor, full of majesty,
May we hear, deeply, may You sound-through us
May we be your body, hands, feet, heart
Reaching out to others may we extend your love.

Creator God, stir us, we pray
For the voice of the Lord speaks into our lives.
May the LORD bless God’s people with peace
May the LORD give strength to God’s people!
That we may care for the broken,
Hungry, needy, sick, bereaved,

Creator God, whisper to us in the silence
For you, God, called the light Day,
and the darkness You called Night.
You named all creation.
Baptized by the Spirit,
May we quietly hear you and
Gently follow. Inbreaking God
Shout us out of our illusions.

God of mercy, lead our leaders
Nations, cities, houses of worship,
Houses of people, lead all with mercy
That we, all, may be merciful as you.

God of compassion, through your Holy Spirit
Forgive us, redeem us, restore us, teach us, fill us.

Incarnate God, divine and human
Body and spirit, us and you
Baptized in the Spirit,
Ascribe to us, your compassion,
That we may be your voice, your heart, your hands
This day and every day.
Amen.

11th Hour Preacher's Party: Which Way Am I Going? edition

2012-01-07T01:00:00.008-05:00

(top of the Rocky Mountains, somewhere in southern Utah)

This is one of those Sunday's when the preacher has choices - have you transferred in the Feast of Epiphany and a celebration of three wise ones? Or, are you celebrating the baptism of Jesus? Do you have a baptism? Are you talking about the Holy Spirit?

The readings for either feast can be found here. And a discussion on the readings can be found on the Tuesday Lectionary Readings...it's worth checking out for the cartoons alone.

Seriously though, which ever way you are going we are here to help. Pull up a chair, the coffee will be on early, as I have a big funeral this morning. I also have homemade yogurt with homemade raspberry jam to tide us over until I return.

Friday Five - The A-ha Moments

2012-01-06T04:52:00.003-05:00

This past holiday season is not one I will soon forget, but not for the reason some may think. Certainly, it was a busy one for those involved in the life of the church. The 1-2 punch of Christmas Eve and Christmas Day on a Sunday brought more than a few of us to our knees (or hopefully to a more comfortable napping position).

In the midst of the holiday season I had one of those moments where a path suddenly was made clear - A-ha! This experience has prompted me to wonder what some of your A-ha moments may be.

They can be mundane - a realization that you like/don't like a certain food or that you really look good in that color you never had the guts to try. They can be sacred - a way to better pace your day clicks into place or finally a devotion or meditation practice that really works for you. They can be profound - the moment you realized he/she was the one (or wasn't)or the moment you realized where your deepest passion could meet the world's greatest need.

Please tell us - what are five (more or less) of your 'A-ha' moments. Where have you had a moment of clarity?

Be sure to let us know in the comments when you play so that we can learn about your moments of clarity! Can't remember how? Here's a reminder on making that pesky link.

Happy New Year!

Ask the Matriarch: Tracking Expenses

2012-01-05T08:32:00.000-05:00

We've had a number of conversations over the last few months about leading our congregations in the budget process - but what about our personal budgets? For many of us, that can be a much trickier area. We have treasurers at church to keep the books straight, but at home, most of us are on our own! So how do you manage this important task? Our question this week is straightforward and relevant. If you are already good at this, I hope you'll share what's working for you. And if you, like me, need help with this, then I'm sure you'll be appreciative of the wisdom our colleagues share.

2012 is ... here and that means another year of keeping track of expenses, both those reimbursed and those which are not. I am looking for a very simple online tracking/budget program.

What I am hoping to find is one where I can track housing expenses, professional expenses, other ministry expenses, medical, and non-ministry related expenses. I would appreciate what has worked and what has not worked for the Rev Gals/Pals.

Muthah+ responds:

Most of my career was pre-computer and definitely pre-smart phone so I have years of date books with highly cryptic numbers and squiggles that no accountant, IRS agent or even I could make heads nor tales of. Nothing I ever turned in could stand scrutiny. But then again, I never made enough for them to even care. That said, the rector with whom I now work uses a free app for his iPhone called "Milebug". He said he uses Quicken for everything else.

On the other hand, I take off my socks.

And Kathrynzj writes:
Great question - I'm looking forward to reading the other answers.

It's been awhile since I looked to find something that was all encompassing and was accessible both from the laptop and the mobile. I now use Quicken at home and use the memo line excessively so I can look things up quickly. I have also used 'budgetsimple.com' when I needed a simple spreadsheet in front of me to help me figure out what money was going where during the month.

The key to the whole thing is finding something that works for you. (I know, duh.) What I mean is, after trying to find the right mileage app and having this or that on my phone, I realized that what really worked for me was a pencil and paper on the console of my car. I photocopy it and attach it to my reimbursement request and there it is. I also keep track of my expense accounts on paper and keep it in a folder right by my desk. Archaic, but it works for me.

---
Kathryn's combination of old school and tech sounds much more effective than my current method of jamming all relevant receipts into my wallet and sorting them out at the end of the month. Thank you to our matriarchs for sharing what has worked for them or others they know. What about the rest of you? Any greats tips or tools that the rest of us could use? Please take a moment to share in the comments what you would recommend.

Our question queue is empty again, so if you have a question you'd like the matriarchs to discuss, send it our way and we will get right on it! Email us at askthematriarch[at]gmail[dot]com.

- earthchick

Wednesday Festival: Ten things we can do if we really want to change the Church

2012-01-04T10:46:00.001-05:00

The Rev. Jeanne Finan at REMEMBER YOUR BAPTISM offers these 10 things to do if we REALLY want to change the Church. Food for thought here!

We talk a lot about transformation and change in the Church. Are these just idle words or are we really serious about change? Do we enjoy patting ourselves on the backs more than we enjoy risking real change? Here are a few suggestions that might jumpstart change in our Church.

1. Under 40. Pass a resolution in your Diocese to only elect those younger than 40 to attend General Convention (or whatever it is you call your national gathering). Who does your diocese send to General Convention? Often it's the same lay and clergy deputies year after year after year? How many are under 40 years old? We say we care about the youth and that young people are the future of the Church. Let’s give them a tangible opportunity to shape the future of the Church. I would suggest that we use the same “under 40” guideline for our Diocesan Conventions, but we all know that some of our parishes would have no one to send from their congregations. Think about that, too.
(Full disclosure: I am 62 years old and, even though the "under 40" rule of thumb certainly excludes me, I love the idea of giving young people real voice and the vote).

2. Women only. Only allow female candidates for bishop for the next 250 years or so (that’s about how long only male candidates were on the ballots—and still are). If we had a more gender-balanced voice in the House of Bishops we might really change the Church. The last time we elected a bishop here in my Diocese, there was not even a woman on the ballot. When a member of the Search Committee was asked "Why?," his response was, "We couldn't find any women who were qualified." This was only seven years ago. Wow. Not a single qualified woman. I wonder how hard they looked?
(Full disclosure: I am a woman but harbor no personal call to the episcopacy. However, there are many gifted and qualified women who do feel called. Let’s elect them.)

3. Let retirement mean reinvention. Prevent parishes from hiring retired clergy for vacancies or even to assist. This is not to diminish the gifts of retired clergy, but they have had their time, they have their pension and they have the experience to open new opportunities for themselves. I know so many young clergy who are passed over for positions because there is a retired priest whom the parish can get on the cheap. Or there is a gaggle of retired clergy willing to serve for free. By inviting retired clergy to come back into parish ministry after retirement, we remove opportunities for young and newly ordained clergy and we also remove opportunities for retired clergy to go into the world and reinvent their ministry. Ever considered mission work? Ever considered how your presence as a volunteer at a food bank could change you and others? Ever considered how wearing a Wal-Mart blue vest or working on a grounds crew at a golf course might ripple the love of Christ into a hungry world? Celebrate the long ministry you have already enjoyed. Step aside so that young clergy can find jobs and begin to create their own ministry. Tent for God in new ways.
(Full disclosure: I am not retired yet but look forward to reinventing myself in a few years.)

4. Diversity: Ask questions. Take action. Don’t attend conferences that have only male speakers (or a single token female) or only white people on their agenda. Look at most homiletics conferences. Wow! Is Barbara Brown Taylor the only woman who has found her preaching voice? Question why your Bishop’s staff looks like the men’s locker room at the Country Club (AKA older white men). Where are God’s people of color? Diversity is a commitment not a buzz word.
(Full disclosure: I am white, beyond middle-aged—probably some would say old—female.)

5. Stop bargain shopping. Live and model being a community. Do the right thing, not the "cheap" thing. Episcopal Conference Centers exist to serve our Church. So why do we shop around for the cheapest deal? Oh, our college young adults don’t have enough money to have their retreat at our Diocesan Conference Centers—hmm…so then how do they drive those shiny new SUVs? Surely we can’t expect the Executive Committee—or Bishops—to stay in some rustic cabins? Stay with Church Health Insurance instead of getting your 29 year-old rector the cheapest insurance. Are we out for ourselves or are we here to be a Christian community? Stop balancing the budget on the backs of our staff and clergy. Women associates/assistants and women staff members are usually the first to be eliminated in a budget crunch or the infamous "reorganization." When will we lose the mentality of “she doesn’t really need a job”? We say the church is not a building but people; yet we preserve our buildings at all cost and eliminate people instead. Severance pay for a few measly months doesn’t make it right, Shame on us.
(Full-disclosure: My husband is the director of an Episcopal Conference Center. Incredible clergy and church staff I know have been “laid off” with little thought of the pain this causes. Those doing the laying off always use the phrase “after much prayer…” when making such an announcement. Just so you know--no one will ever believe you again when you talk about prayer.)

6. Tithe. Yes, that means 10% of our income. We each get to decide gross or net but a 10% minimum is where we need to be. Regardless. Wonder why our churches can’t afford a full time priest or a youth minister or to build a second Habitat House each year? Imagine what we could do if everyone tithed. Yes, do give time and talent but cough up some cash too. The mandate to tithe is not to build the coffers of the church, it's to do God's work in the world and to do it abundantly.
(Full disclosure: I do tithe, but hey! I grew up in the Baptist Church; and yes, it is really hard but I can't imagine doing otherwise now.)

7. Wear the hat and heart of a visitor. If you didn’t already know where to park or where the bathrooms are or in what remote nook you hold coffee hour after the service, could you find your way? Think about how frustrated you have felt wandering the maze in a hospital or other unfamiliar building. Being physically lost is not what makes us want to return. Signage helps. Welcoming people help more. Thinks about how easy it is to find everything in a Starbucks—and to find the Starbucks itself!
(Full disclosure: I like feeling welcome in strange places. I don’t like feeling stupid. My son works for Starbucks.)

8. Welcome Babies. Can’t afford a nursery or nursery workers? Consider adding a designated space to welcome young children right in the worship space itself. They do this in churches all over Wales and England. A soft carpet, a few rocking chairs, and quiet toys (this is not the space to add a xylophone unless you need a music program as well) create a space which includes parents and children in worship.
(Full disclosure: I am the parent of two adult children and four grandchildren. I have no problem praying or praising God with the accompanying sounds of children.)

9. Pray. Every day. Prayer--it's not just for Sundays. We can get so busy “doing” that we forget to take time for stillness and quiet and to keep some empty space open for God. I would like to have put this as number 1 for what we can do to really change the church, but I was rather afraid folks wouldn't keep reading.
(Full disclosure: If I have time to brush my teeth each morning, I have time to pray.)

10. Be church. Be the people of God for the world not just a chapel where the only purpose of your existence is to get warm and cozy with one another and provide for your own. We are called to change the world. If we are really going to set free the gospel into the world, we need to step out of our own comfort zones and let go of using the church as a social club instead of a place to grow the kingdom of God.
(Full disclosure: Like you, I'm trying.Maybe we just need to try a little harder. )

Okay, so maybe you think these suggestions are a little overboard. People were locked in the Tower of London for less. But these thoughts were not written to hurt or condemn, but simply to try to look at church with a new vision. I wrote this to challenge myself. We talk a lot about transformation and change in the Church, but talk is so cheap. Perhaps the first step is to take an honest glance to see if the Emperor Church is naked and then to start looking for some clothes in our own closets.

Tuesday Lectionary Leanings -- Of Water and Spirit Edition

2012-01-02T23:29:00.003-05:00

Epiphany

AS we move further into the new calendar, let us pray (prayer source):

God of grace and glory,

you call us with your voice of flame

to be your people, faithful and courageous.

As your beloved Son

embraced his mission in the waters of baptism,

inspire us with the fire of your Spirit

to join in his transforming work.

We ask this in the name of our Savior Jesus Christ,

who lives and reigns for ever and ever. Amen.

It seems there are a couple of choices this week. In some congregations people may be having a delayed celebration of Epiphany. (Some others may be having a service to mark this feast on Thursday as well). Epiphany readings can be found here.

Others of us will be talking about Jesus, and John, and baptism. The readings for the Baptism of Jesus Sunday are here. Lots to work with there. From the waters primeval, to John at the River, to Paul moving folks beyond John's baptism to Christian baptism. The Spirit is there, and water is there, and what does it all mean?

Baptism of Jesus

Maybe you will include a "remembering your baptism" moment -- with or without asperging. Maybe you could use the ocassion to highlight the differences between John and Jesus. Or maybe you are following the same rabbit trail I am and exploring what baptism means in your tradition and theology.

I am tempted to use this on Sunday (I forget where I first heard it):

On the way home from church the Sunday he was baptised little Johnny sat in the backseat sobbing.
"What's wrong honey?" asked his mother.
In between his sobs Johnny answered: "The minister said he wanted me raised in a Christian home. But I want to live with YOU!"

SO kings and camels, John by the river, the meaning of Baptism, or something non-lectionary related.... possibilities abound. Let us know in the commments where you see your congregaton headed this week.

I love the lambs

Monday Extra - A New Thing

2012-01-02T13:46:00.001-05:00

It's a funny day in my neck of the woods...a holiday for federal, state, and city offices, but schools are open, including the one where I work.

The U.S.'s famous Rose Parade happened this morning (on a Monday!) Kiddos in school missed it.

As it's the beginning of a shiny new year I'm thinking about new things.

What's new in your life?

Sunday Prayer: Christmas I/Holy Name/New Years Day

2012-01-01T01:00:00.001-05:00

Christmas I
Gracious God,
God of light,
God of life,
God of all that is

You come to us
in the darkness
of the night
and call us by name

Give us, we pray
the grace
to hear you -
the hope
to see you -
the love
needed
to mend
a broken world.

Help us
to be your
hands -
your
heart
your hope.

Be with us, we pray
with those
who suffer,
with those
who weep,
with those
dying
this night/day
and give us, we pray
your peace.
Amen.

11th Hour Preacher NEW YEAR'S EVE Party

2011-12-30T23:30:00.001-05:00

"And the last shall be first." I'm pretty certain a New Year's Eve Preacher Party when the last day of the year leads to the first sermon of the next isn't what Jesus was talking about, but it just seems like it fit so well.

Welcome to our last part of the year on the last day of the year! And what potential we have for the party, too. I giggled this week when I visited The Text This Week and found a gazillion of options for this Sunday. In what direction are you going?

The Wise Guys and Epiphany? (Children's time suggestion might be a Chalk Blessings.)
New Year (Maybe an interactive sermon time with discernment of what God might be calling the church to join in the New Year)
Holy Name of Jesus (Children's time idea - - Bring a baby name book, or if you have the capability do on-line searches in real time, looking up name meanings of the kids. Then talk about what Jesus' name/s is/are, why he has it/them. Another variation might be to talk about who gives people their names.)
Mary, the Holy Mother of God (I gotta admit, this one is about as foreign to my Presbyterian-self as it could be. Yet this post that I found via friends on the Incarnation has a lot to say about the woman who brought the incarnation into "caro.")
and last but not least, good ol' Christmas 1B (I LOVE LOVE LOVE Simeon and Anna. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE Anna, but it's actually Simeon who reminds me of my husband's grandmother. She was so excitedly awaiting great-grandchildren in her life that the quilt she gave us upon that blessed child's birth, on her own birthday I might add, was graced with a label saying "For my first great-grandchild, with love, made in 1995." For those who don't know me that was not only 10 years before my baby girl was born, but the same year her father, the oldest grandchild, graduated from high school. Grandma was waiting a long time! In our congregation we will be singing the Song of Simeon as the prayer after communion.)

There are LOTS of beautiful options for this week, and I'm certain there are even more directions in which we are being led. What are you thinking? What is the Spirit saying to you and your church? Where do you need help from the community?

And then there's that totally non-pastoral question - - how in the world does writing a sermon fit into your New Year's Eve plans?

I'll start the morning off with the requisite fair trade coffee. I think my husband will be making pancakes, too. But, later in the evening we'll have to pop open our bubbly drinks of choice. I do drink champagne, but am totally looking forward to my favorite sparkling apple juice, too!!! The party to which we go offers both!

In the meantime, join this party in the comments. Looking forward to saying "Hi" to everyone who drops in!

Nearly New Year Friday Five...

2011-12-30T08:04:00.000-05:00

A simple Friday Five for a busy part of the year; indulge me by sharing two fives:

As you look back over 2011 share 5 blessings, they can be as grand or as simple as you like,if you year has been like mine they are probably a mixture!

As you look towards 2012 share 5 hopes- again, anything goes!

Pictures and songs welcome!

As always, let us know in comments if you play. Even better, get in the habit of posting a direct link to your blog entry in your comment, using the following formulation:
<a href="the url of your blog post goes here">what you want the link to say goes here</a>
For a complete how-to, click here.

Ask the Matriarch - Dealing with a Stalker

2011-12-29T06:46:00.000-05:00

Our post this week is a very serious one. Our rev gal has blogged about her situation, and the matriarchs had the opportunity to read her blog posts, as you will notice when you read some of the responses.

Ihave had significant security issues at church, where I am the rector. I havecurrently been dealing with a stalker, who is also a sex offender. I finallybegan writing about it in my blog, but wanted to formulate some question aboutchurch security. Before I had the stalker (this is his second time stalking me- he was in prison for a few years and just got out) I walked around church ina state of familiarity that I was unaware of any danger signs. I'm workingon finding the balance between being awake (a good Advent discipline) andaware, without being hyper vigilant.

After writing a 5 part blog series on mysituation, I decided the story is so dark and disturbing that I took the blogseries down. I do have all the text though. My stalker is a violent rapist andhe had created what is called a 'hot room' in a bathroom at a nearby cemetery.This sort of room is created to bring someone back to. On Sunday mornings therewere squad cars in front of my church for my protection This has beenquite a journey for me and as a result I'm thinking about doing aworkshop on theology of self defense.

Have you ever had to deal with a stalker or someone who wanted to do you harm?

Have you found cause to increase securityand/or surveillance around your facility? Who participated in thedecision-making? What worked? What would you do differently?

What advice do you have for this rector?

From Terri, who blogs at Seeking Authentic Voice

Goodness. I amgrateful you have taken the self defense training. And, I am thankful yourBishop is taking this seriously and insisting you take some time off.

From myexperience and training this situation requires assistance from professionalswho are trained in a comprehensive approach to violence against women. Thethreat of violence and stalking are a form of violence. Have you done anyresearch into what help is available? Such as connecting with one of thevarious "Violence Against Women" organizations like "Not In OurPews"? Even though this is not a domestic violence situation, they willhave ideas of how to prepare and protect yourself. What I like about "NotIn Our Pews" is that they partner with local social work agencies,churches, and law enforcement, to create a comprehensive approach to protectthe victim. You can read more about them on my blog here.

Also, it seemsthat acquiring some training for you and your leadership team/vestry/staff willhelp. I don't know the thought process behind a stalker but it seems thatsecrecy may be one of their veils of abuse? Again, a comprehensive approachfrom organizations trained in domestic/partner abuse including churches, locallaw enforcement, and mental health agencies, can give you training anddirection.

I hope you findthe help you need and can live again with a greater sense of peace. You remainin my prayers!

From Muthah+,who blogs at Stone of Witness

Dear Sistah,

I have never hada situation like this. I have never been an 'object' of anyone'sfascination. It sounds like youare doing some important things for yourself. The self defense class isgood to remind you of the power you do have. You have spiritual powerthat this stalker does not. You need only to call upon God to give youthat inward power, the skill of not folding before fear and evil. That iswhat your Indian story is about.

I think we allcome face to face with Evil in someway--it is essential to our growth infaith. Your encounter is quite manifest. And there comes atime when we all have to choose not to feed the Evil wolf. Youhave chosen to do that with this question to us. Now, like anytime wehave to make a change in our selves to follow the Good, the practice is thehard part. Ask yourself first if you are afraid to die. And thendeal with that question. Then ask yourself if you are afraid of beingraped. And then deal with that. Once we begin to really thinkthrough scenarios, we fill begin to realize that we often have more fear of thefear than we have of the reality. Of course we don't want these things tohappen! And of course fear (the right kind of fear) isnecessary for self-preservation. But it is often the fear of the fearthat saps our strength and makes us powerless and vulnerable.

Fear feeds apredator's desire to stalk. In AA we have a phrase "fake it 'till yamake it." It is one of the best pieces of advice I have ever beengiven. Sometimes we have to live into a state of being before we can callit our own. Start living as if you are NOT afraid. This does NOTmean be foolish--take the precautions that are appropriate. But live intoyour fearless love for God. Living fearlessly t'ain't easy but it doesmake a difference and it will become a part of you. It may turn himoff.

Building intoyour life ways of resting and restoring your strength will keep yourspiritual 'immune system' in good health. When was your lastretreat? Do you have prayer time morning and night worked into yourdaily schedule that are more important than "getting thingsdone?" Do you have prayer partners that are lifting you and holdingyou in their daily prayers? Do you hold them?

I rejoicewith you in having a bishop who is understanding and helpful. I had toleave a parish for almost 2 months due to stress and fatigue one timetoo . I hated that I would be viewed as 'fragile' afterward. Butneither the parish nor the bishop saw it that way. People understandwhen their beloved pastor has been hassled just because you servethem.

Your buildingsneed to be secure--the parish needs to see to that. Get a good securitycompany come and do an evaluation of your offices and church and anestimate. If your budget cannot support the changes needed ask the bishopor look for funds through various women's organizations. Checkout Take Back the Night and similar organizations that you can get moreinformation so that you feel strengthen enough to enjoy life without 'constanthyper-vigilance'.

You are inmy prayers. Rest now and come back fierce in your love for God and God'speople. Let "If God be for us, who can be against" be yourmantra. And let your friends in the parish know what you are fighting, ifthey don't already know. They will protect you. Believe me,the men in your parish will absolutely take care of you-- let their desire tocare for you make you safer. It will give some of them a real sense ofbeing needed in a "woman-led church." Use machismo to yourbenefit. If you need your home watched while you sleep, they will dothat. This is what 'community' means. Work with locallaw enforcement (I am sure you have already done this). But spend thisNew Year living freely feeding the Good Wolf.

And Iknow that you can depend upon many of us holding you in ourprayers until this man is caught or discouraged.

From Kathryn:

My friend, thereare two levels to your question. Our church's governing body is phasing inincreased levels of security (rekeying, sectioning off areas of the church,security cameras, more people presence). I can detail these efforts for thoseinterested as I know from experience that churches tend to be all (mega churchsecurity guards) or nothing (why do we need to keep people from being in thebuilding?).

However, afterreading your blog post, clearly things for you are already at another level. Iam sorry for the fear you have been living with. I am grateful your Bishopappears to get it, but have great concerns that this situation is not going toget better for you.

I think at the veryleast an honest conversation needs to be had with local authorities, yourfamily, your denominational authorities and the leaders in your localcongregation about what security measures must be put in place for your ownpeace of mind.

Jennifer writes:

I have nopersonal experience with an on-site stalker, but trust that you have alertedyour governing board, the local authorities and people close to you about thistroubling situation. You should not, for any reason, be coping with thisalone. From your blog, it sounds as though you have enrolled inself-defense classes, which is good.

Please allowothers to assist you in coping with this. Thank you for asking for ourhelp. I hope that you also find resources where you are to help you find thebalance you seek and allow you to be an effective pastor and a wise andresponsible person.

Please join in this very serious conversation, whether you have faced a similar danger or not. And please join in praying for our sister and for all who face such violence, as well as those who are snared by sin into perpetrating violence.

May we all live freely in God's amazing grace+

rehoney

Wednesday Festival: Holy Innocents

2011-12-28T12:17:00.000-05:00

Today is the Feast of the Holy Innocents. Erica writes about it at Don't Flay the Sheep:

I’m too much of a news junkie, mostly on my smart-phone. In my current life as a stay at home mom with a 10 month old baby and a kindergartener who needs dropping and off and picking up, I don’t get out much or see many other people. So I find myself paying way too much attention to that little box in my hand to get some sense of what’s happening beyond the 10 city blocks that are my present habitat.

A few weeks ago, I noticed that a friend, on his twitter feed, was mentioning the need to pray for folks in Belgium after some act of violence. I jumped onto a news application on my phone and saw this headline: “More than 5000 Killed.”

Because there is no more appropriate reaction to such obscene wastes of human life than obscenity (and because the baby isn’t yet repeating what I say), I saw that headline and yelled, “Holy S#!t” 5000 people dead in Belgium?

And then I noticed that the headline referred to Syria. And, I’m embarrassed to write it, my reaction was tempered a bit.

The attack in Belgium had no where near that amount of casualty (6 dead including the gunman, more than 100 wounded). I knew about what was happening in Syria. 5000 people dead in Belgium would have been more shocking to me in that moment, because Belgium seems peaceful compared to Syria.
But it felt awful to realize that, in some way, I had placed more value on that number of deaths had they happened in Belgium than in Syria.

Today is the day Christians remember “The Slaughter of the Innocents.” This is one of the parts of the story that gets left out of Christmas pageants. After the Wise Men visit Herod in Jerusalem, looking for the King who the star is leading them toward, Herod gets jealous at the possibility of another king, and orders all male children under the age of 1 to be killed. It is a gut-wrenchingly horrible story, and it reminds us how fragile this human life that God entered as Jesus really is.
Jesus has arrived, light breaks though, but the fact is that there is still suffering.

It’s one of the hardest truths about Christmas: here we’ve been waiting, we get a few days of oxytocin-induced happiness with the baby Jesus…and then we remember that everything is not yet right in the world.

The tally these days is still terrible. 6 in Belgium. Over 5000 in Syria. 8 in a family in Texas. More than 1000 from the typhoon in the Philippines…

Every one deserves to be remembered.

Lectionary Leanings~On the 8th day of Christmas

2011-12-27T00:01:00.006-05:00

Welcome to 2012! On this first day of the new year and 8th day of Christmas will you be celebrating the Feast of the Holy Name, or the second Sunday of Christmas? (Readings found here.) Both options feature gospel reading from Luke, the first focusing on the naming of Jesus after the shepherds' visit, and the second on the presentation of Jesus at the Temple and the encounters with Simeon and Anna, and both are rich with possibilility: what is in a name? And what power in the witness of two who have longed waited for the sight of the savior!

If you are on the second Sunday of Christmas, you also have the option of tackling Isaiah or a portion of the letter to the Gelatins. And if you are celebrating the Holy Name, you might choose from the Aaronic blessing in Numbers or the beautiful hymn in Philippians.

After a full Christmas weekend, many of us are feeling low on energy, and in this in-between time, it may be a "low Sunday" as well; perhaps you're taking this time to go off lectionary or have a special activity planned. Some of you might take this week for Lessons and Carols or the Christmas pageant.

Share your ideas, ponderings, and plans with us as we welcome a new year and continue our celebration of Christmas.

This CartoonChurch.com cartoon originally appeared in the Church Times and is taken from ‘My Pew: Things I have seen from it’, published by Canterbury Press.

Monday Extra--Boxing Day

2011-12-26T08:34:00.001-05:00

Happy Boxing Day! At my house the Internet is down, and so is the phone, so we will be left to more primitive resources for our entertainment. How will you spend the Day After? Chime in below with a comment. And don't forget to take a nap!

Prayer for Christmas Day on Sunday

2011-12-25T00:30:00.000-05:00

God,
Your light has come into our world to shine brightly in our darkness.
We rejoice in your light, we are so glad because with the light you have set us free.
In fact we know and celebrate that even to this day the darkness has not overcome it.
It is through the birth of your son that your light entered into the world
and we too want to be children of light.
We are grateful for the birth of your son
who has become known as the wonderful counselor.
Our governments need him as their wise counselor
because they have often become stalemated with each other.
Our churches need him as their ideal counselor,
because they are at a loss as how to deal with our culture
that sees the church as irrelevant.
Our families need him as their counselor
because they struggle with how to be a healthy family in this day and age.
We as individuals need him as our sage counselor
to help us in how to live as your children of the light.

And we are grateful for the birth of your son who has become known as Mighty God.
We need a Mighty God to establish justice in this often unjust world.
We need a Mighty God to bring about righteousness in a world
that is often anything but righteous.
We need a great big God to believe in when it appears there is so little to believe in.
We need a strong God when we feel so small, so weak and so puny.

We are grateful for the birth of your son who has become known as Everlasting Father.
We need the everlasting father for those who are fatherless, for those who have been abandoned by their fathers, and for those who don’t have good fathers.
We need the everlasting father for his love and his mercies for all of us.
We need the everlasting father for guidance, leadership, firmness yet gentleness.
We need the father who lives forever that we get to live with forever.

We are grateful for the birth of your son who has become known as Prince of Peace.
We need a Prince of Peace in a world that is always at war with one another.
We need a Prince of Peace to help us navigate the conflicts of relationship
we often meet in life.
We need a Prince of Peace to calm and sooth our hearts, our minds, and our souls.
We need a Price of Peace to establish his Kingdom of peace in our lives forever.

Lord what a wonderful gift you have given us in your son Jesus who is the Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.
We thank you for this gift today and everyday.
Amen

Merry Christmas

11th Hour Preacher Party: All Christmas, All Weekend Edition

2011-12-24T01:00:00.000-05:00

Good morning, preachers! It's Day Two of our Christmas prep preacher party. When will the bells ring for you?

Whether you're preaching tonight or tomorrow or both, we're here to get everything ready together. At my house, the coffee will be on all day, and there are Christmas cookies galore. Pull up to the table and join the party! Join us in the comments and tell us about your plans, your hopes, even your dreams of tomorrow's Holy Nap or trip to the airport.

Meanwhile, here's a favorite carol of mine, one of what I call the "non-negotiables" for Christmas Eve:

11th Hour Preacher's Party: Christmas Eve edition**

2011-12-23T01:00:00.002-05:00

As we prepare for this most holy night, let us begin with prayer

Most gracious God, for our salvation you were born and manifested in a human body: Help us see your likeness in women and men of all nations,races, and cultures, that we may rejoice in our diversity and live together as one; in the name of your child, our Savior Jesus Christ, given to us this holy night. From Women's Uncommon Prayers, Christmas I, source, St. Anthanasius, 4th c.

The days and hours leading up to this holy night are often filled with planning, setting up, meetings, rehearsals, writing, thinking, doing, decorating, arranging, cooking, wrapping, caring for others, pastoral visits,...countless tasks...leaving little or no time for the pastor to slow down, take a breath, and just be.

Let us take that moment.

And then, as you are ready, share with us what you hope to say to those who come to celebrate the birth of Christ in your church this year. Are you preaching on one of the Christmas Texts or on the nativity or the incarnation or some Christmas theme? Are you preaching Christmas Eve and or Christmas Day? (Songbird will be here to host a party for Christmas Day preachers). Me, I'm pondering the idea of preaching on gratitude, and connecting that to the gift God has given us in the birth of Christ...and, yes, I'm preaching both Christmas Eve and Christmas Day - and hoping I can preach the same sermon at both services since the congregation will be different....

Perhaps you have been so busy you haven't had a moment to really think through what you hope to say...we're here to share ideas, stories, quotes...and to offer prayer and support.

And, of course I have lots of goodies to share. Cookies, coffee, tea, fruit, and homemade chocolate spice bundt cakes with apple and pears.

Sit a moment. Catch your breath, and share a cup of coffee with us. We're here to help you get through this weekend.

**Friday Five will return next week...

Ask the Matriarch - You can call me... Edition

2011-12-22T06:00:00.000-05:00

We have a follow-up question from a newlywed whose parishoners don't know what to call her...

Hello! Thanks for thewords of wisdom earlier this year as I prepared to get married. We had a greatwedding last month and are working our way through the thank you notes. We knowthat thank you notes and holiday cards will be our opportunity to inform peopleabout our married names. Both of us have hyphenated our last names. GroomHisfamilyname-Herfamilyname and Bride Hisfamilyname-Herfamilyname. So thatmeans we are now the Hisfamilyname-Herfamilyname Family. The return address onthe thank you cards reads "The Hisfamilyname-Herfamilyname Family."We are just starting to get Christmas cards addressed to: Mr. and Mrs. GroomHisfamilyname-Herfamilyname. This drives me insane because I'm offended thatI'm now only identified as "Mrs. Groom Hisfamilyname-Herfamilyname"for two reasons. The first reason, of course, is the disappearance of my firstname and the second reason is that it completely ignores my title as anordained minister. I'm not really a big fan of formal etiquette and titles buthis side really is (which made addressing the wedding invitations oh so muchfun...). They were extremely concerned that we every single military titlecorrect for our guests, which we did. Now, I'm finding they have no regard formy civilian honorific and that bothers me.

Matriarchs, please help me put this into perspective. Do I just try to givethem the right example this year and hope they'll pick up for next year and trymy best not to let it bother me it if they don't?

My understanding from this website is that on envelopes we should be addressed asThe Reverend Bride Hisfamilyname-Herfamilyname and Mr. GroomHisfamilyname-Herfamilyname. In ten years will I be so over this that I'll justbe going by Mrs. instead of Rev.?

I think I got pushed over the edge today by a card sent to me at work fromsomeone who was a member of my home church and it was addressed:

Mr. and The Rev. Mrs. Groom Hisfamilynameonly

The Rev. Mrs. made me want to vomit.

Please help!

Jennifer, who blogs at An Orientation of Heart, was the first to respond:
I remember this phase oflife so well! Back when dinosaurs roamed the earth and my beloved and Iwere wed, we had the same experience and the same laser-like attention to thematter from people who thought it all over terribly carefully and erred on theside of leaving off my title and my first name….just like you’reexperiencing! My beloved and I are both clergy and for some reason, histitle would be retained and mine wouldn’t. Gag. I even had a member ofthe congregation he serve write me a letter in which she ruminated on paperabout how to address the envelope and future Christmas cards and said, “I assumethat you’re just so delighted to “finally” be married, that I naturally surmisethat you would love to be called Mrs.Your Beloved’s First and Last Names.” “Well,” I muttered while carefully replacing the note in the envelope, “youassumed incorrectly.”

I think continuing tomodel your preferred example is the best route to take. Maybe the conversationwill even come up over eggnog in the next few weeks and you’ll have the chanceto speak your mind, lovingly, of course!

Kathryn adds:

As someone who suffered through this with in-laws who were incensed that he married a FEMALE minister (the horror!) and who has seen all kinds of hack jobs of titles andlast names let me offer you this advice: let it go.

Make sure your returnaddress has it correct for those who care to get it correct, and then enjoy theones that get it right. Do all you can to get over the ones who don't. Theywon't..... ever. Maybe for each one who gets it wrong the two of you could puta $1 in the 'date night' jar.

Sharon, blogging at Tidings of Comfort and Joy, offers the following:

You have raised asituation that is important to you, so my answer will be "YES" to thequestion: "Do I just try to give them the right example thisyear?" I suggest that you use return address labels that moreexplicitly spell out the "hers and his" designation, with titles,rather than the "hyphenated-names family" designation. Each year, you could put a blurb in the November church newsletter thatsays: "Christmas cards to the pastor's family may be sent to [insertpreferred forms of address here]."

I'm hearing that youfeel some disrespect from your spouse's family and, possibly, there is a powerstruggle beginning to simmer. If so, this is about more than how they useyour clergy title and how they address your Christmas card. We are herefor you, with advice and hugs, as this develops.

And "YES" tothe part about "try[ing] my best not to let it bother me it if theydon't?" A very big "YES!" Please. And don'tsimply "try" to do your best. Do not allow this to bother you evenfor one month, much less ten years. Really. Just don't. Please consider whether this is one of those times when it is better tobe loving than to be correct.

Wishing you fewer barfbags and more mistletoe,

And from Muthah+ blogging at Stone of Witness

Write out your name theway you WANT to be called (whether it follows the rules or not) and stick toit. Keep putting it out there and the folks who care about you and loveyou will use it. Others will be knuckleheads and ignore them. Ihave found that military are the worst about titles themselves but once theyare out of their comfort zone--all are civilians!

Remember us revgals arestill new in history. In most mainline traditions we have had only 2generations of ordained women in our midst. It takes a long time forpatterns change. In my lifetime we have finally gotten anabbreviation for adult women who do not chose to use their husband'sname--Ms. Before that I was called "Miss" long after I hadgraduated from maryjanes and crinolines. So it is still incumbent upon usto help the public to understand what is proper address.

I am from a tradition inwhich male clergy are called "Father". I hate the title--my theologyand psychology rebels against it and the parallel "Mother". Butit seems to be what people are using here in my new home. It is somethingI am having to "endure". You are right, in 20 years it won'tmatter. But I do think that we can influence how titles and termsare developed in our communities when we gently correct and just say "Iprefer...."

Do you have experience with this issue? A successful strategy for teaching people what you'd like to be called? Let's talk about it.

A blessed Christmas to you all+

revhoney

Wednesday Festival: Being Church?

2011-12-21T10:28:00.000-05:00

Here's a tweet that keeps coming back to me....

Shane Claiborne @Shane Claiborne What Chores Would Jesus Do? "Church is not something we attend. It's something we are." http://fb.me/1p3mw0GFq

The linked article refers to a group of people living in intentional community, and it's an interesting read, but it's not really my point here. While I'm not feeling called to a monastic life, I have been thinking a great deal, in this time of such commercial pressure to be happy and joyful and madly gifting, about what church is meant to be in our lives.

Church is not something we attend. It's something we are.

Our RevGals in the UK all seem to be doing something called Messy Church, which intrigues me (messy being one of my favorite states). Sally writes about Messy Church at her Methodist chapels:

Two pictures that will stay with me this week, two very different churches packed with families for Messy Church...

Picture one, children sat around the feet of the story teller, gazing at her with eyes like saucers!

Picture two, a dad so chilled at Messy Church that he lay on a rug on the floor, head on arms behind his head and simply enjoyed being while his children were having fun!

Who needs a hymn prayer sandwich?

But, as Sally's next post shows, some people do need a "hymn prayer sandwich." There are folks in the congregation truly mourning the removal of the familiar pattern of prayer, study & worship that they've known all their lives.

In a similar vein, Liberation Theology Lutheran's Florida church chose to swap sermons for creative activities during the Sundays of Advent:

About a month ago, a group of us gathered at the parsonage to talk about a different approach to Advent. I'm lucky to have a pastor who's a creative guy and thus, is open to doing worship with creative elements--especially if one of the lay people wants to take the lead.

Our pastor had a vision of having an alternative creative activity that would take place each Sunday in Advent. We anticipated that mainly children and youth would participate, but certainly adults would be welcome too. I had a vision of people who learned by hands-on activities working on the creative offering and listening to the sermon.

Those of you who have worked with groups of children will laugh. But I'm calling it a success. Do I think that participants in the creativity project got the exact same message that they would have, had they been listening to the sermon? No. But do I think that they'd have gotten those messages if they had been sitting in the pews? Not necessarily.

Our experiment turned out to be a success, so I thought it worth documenting here.

For Advent 1, the participants made 6 banners, with the Advent themes of Joy, Hope, and Waiting. Below you'll see a sample.

For Advent 2, with its theme of Good News, participants made paper chains out of newspaper.

I thought our plan for Advent 3 was most ambitious. The theme for the Sunday was the message of light breaking through, so one of our team came up with the idea of turning the windows in the back of the church (windows that connect the sanctuary to the nursery and to a rehearsal space) into a stained glass look by painting on them.

Below you see the windows in the before-but-prepped stage:

Below you see the participants painting the windows.

I particularly like the shot below, with the cross in the distance.

And below, the finished windows:

For Advent 4, with its themes of promises kept and the Magnificat, I thought back to what we'd done with silk and interpretive dance at a Create in Me retreat. I had a vision of people writing/drawing onto silk the ways that they'd seen God keeping God's promises and prayers for what they still needed/wanted God to do.

I bought 12 yards of silk from Dharma Trading Company, after a very helpful Customer Service rep helped me decide what would work best for the project. When it arrived, I thought, well, I've bought far too much fabric--as I so often do.

But as it turns out, we used the whole length. And then we processed up the aisle as the offering was brought forward.

If I decide to do more with silk and liturgical dance for Pentecost, we'll practice more before we process. We didn't quite get the hang of getting the silk to drift and float through the air--and of course, the children participants were shorter than the Create in Me participants.

We put the silk at the bottom of the tree.

It's been an interesting, creative approach to Advent. And I know that some of our participants wish that we could keep having creative activities, even after Advent ends.

Finally, from achurchforstarvingartists, Jan shares this meditation on the purpose of being church:

Church Friend #1: Since our pastor retired, our worship numbers are down
significantly. We didn’t realize how many people came just to hear him preach. And then they went to brunch.

Church Friend #2: That’s not really church, you know.

Many of us have participated in Destination Worship to hear a great preacher preach. A friend just told me over the weekend that she would be visiting Texas for Christmas and while she’s in Houston she will definitely go hear Joel Osteen. Because he’s Joel Osteen. (Maybe not everyone’s idea of a Great Preacher but we’d all agree he is a famous preacher.)

I’ve traveled to Grandville, MI to hear Rob Bell preach. I’ve made several pilgrimages to hear BBT. I’ve made special efforts to hear other fine preachers deliver God’s Word. My faith has been impacted by their teaching and I have a richer understanding of scripture from those sermons. But I can’t say that my experience was truly “church.”

My friend Steve Knight wrote earlier this month about Participatory Church. For generations, many of us believed that being a Christian meant spending Sunday mornings in a church sanctuary, sitting in a chair or pew, hearing a sermon and then going home (or to brunch) comforted or smarter or stirred spiritually. And that’s that.
Jesus taught something completely different.

It’s easy to go hear a fine sermon and then return home and forget about it until next week. It’s easy to go get a shot of inspiration and then continue life as usual. But being a church together, being The Body of Christ together involves a commitment, relationships, a change of perspective and priorities. Way harder.
Advent is often about theatre and pageantry in the institutional church. Concerts and “special music” fill those weeks before Christmas. Consider The Church Christmas Pageant.

Who doesn’t love a Christmas Pageant? The kids are cute. The pews are full. The story is familiar. It creates happy memories and brings people together. What’s not to love?

My hope is that this perennial favorite is more than a sentimental exercise. I hope it touches souls and points us to something holy and beautiful. But to be honest, sentimentality often wins. We prefer easy worship. We go. We hear and watch. We come away spiritually moved or entertained or informed.

But that’s not what it means to be the church together. Jesus asks for more.

What are you finding this Advent that, to you, is truly church? Is it in doing, being, sharing? Finding new ways of experiencing? For me, with an ill spouse for the last several months, church has been, not attendance at services, but presence (face to face and virtual) of many in my community of faith...both the one to which I "belong" and the one that I have found online.

May your gift this year be a new realization of God in your life and the lives of those you serve.

Lectionary Leanings~Making a list and checking it twice...

2011-12-20T00:02:00.000-05:00

Here we are preachers, in the last days of the count down to Christmas. All four candles in the Advent wreath have been lit, the church is "greened," the music is planned, and now it's time for sermons--and if you have multiple services, that might mean multiple sermons as well! We have three propers to choose from for Christmas, and they can be found here.

Will you be preaching the traditional Christmas story from Luke? Or perhaps you will take a different perspective and focus on John's beautiful prologue, read in some traditions as a "second gospel." I first heard it read that way--at the end of a magnificent midnight service--my last year of seminary when I was lucky enough to serve on the altar at the Cathedral of St. John the Divine in New York City, and while I had never particularly associated that passage with Christmas, hearing it in that context changed the way I thought about it for ever.

Will you celebrate both Christmas Eve and Christmas Day? Will you have a pageant? Will you be up all night wrapping presents after the late service on Christmas Eve (my usual habit)? What are your plans for this most holy time?

RevGalBookPals: Between Heaven and Mirth

2011-12-19T03:07:00.000-05:00

It’sone of the busiest seasons of the year and you know what you need… a bookrecommendation. (Insert derisive snorts, patronizing chuckles andsemi-hysterical giggling here.) In the midst of worship planning, familyactivities, other people’s emotional baggage, your emotional baggage, theunavoidable calories, the avoided gym and everything else, Christmas needs joy!Thus I bring you a quick review of James Martin’s new book, Between Heaven and Mirth: Why Joy, Humor, and Laughter are at the Heart of Spiritual Life. (Theletters “SJ” should follow Martin’s name since he is a Jesuit priest. I didn’t,however, know where to put the apostrophe, so I’m making this note.)

Ifyou are too busy to read a whole review, here’s the upshot: Good book thatbrings together lots of research and writing on laughter, spiritual health andjoy. Definitely church book club material. Mainly Roman Catholic writersmentioned, with some Protestants. Luther makes an appearance, Calvin and Wesleydo not. Skip down to the comments and share a joke.

Backto our regularly scheduled programming: Martin begins by pointing out thatpeople don’t usually associate humor, light-heartedness and joy with Christianpractice. Even though joy is one of the fruits of the Spirit, Martin says thatreligious people often view God as a “joyless judge” and are thus moreconcerned with sin and seriousness, than playfulness and celebration. (9) The popularconception of religious people in much of contemporary culture is dry andhumorless, with a side of disapproving glumness. All of that ANDself-satisfaction!

Okay,so I know (and you know) that NO Rev Gals or Blog Pals are like that, but wemight know someone who is. Or, if you’re like me (or James Martin), people fromwithin and without the church often comment on how surprising your sense ofhumor is for a pastor/priest/sister/lay leader/Christian/Sunday Schoolteacher/church musician/etc. Somehow our joy has to bubble up more loudly anddrown out the droning chorus of judgment that attempts to speak for DivineDesire.

Martindiscusses the psychological significance of joy in bringing us to a deeperplace of gratitude and awareness of God’s work in the world. In his discussionof Jesus as the Savior, he skims through the way the Savior is portrayed in thegospels. Just because there is not documentation of Jesus’ laughter and joydoesn’t mean it didn’t happen, Martin stresses again and again. Absence ofevidence is not evidence of absence.

Infact, Martin posits that to deny that Jesus laughed and rejoiced is to commit akind of heresy. “If Christians truly believe that Jesus was ‘fully human’ [aswell as fully divine], they must also believe he had a sense of humor.” (54) Thereare many puns and plays on common scenarios in the parables that are often loston the modern reader. The careful preacher draws them out and explains them,but it is work to explain and work to receive.

Insome of the best sections of the book, Martin covers how to find joy in yourvocation (the situations to which you are called), in service and inrelationships. He talks about how the joy we draw from each of these scenariosbrings us closer to God, the source of all joy. In a written Q & A, Martinwrites:

What can I do if I live or work in ajoyless environment? First, rememberthat your environment doesn’t define you. One of the most difficult thingsabout living in an environment (home, workplace, religious community) lackingin joy is that you may gradually assume that (a) you should not be joyful; (b)you are not naturally joyful, since you’re experiencing so little joy; or (c)the world is a joyless place. Joy-free persons sometimes seem to be joy vampires,sucking the happiness out of everyone’s life as well.
Inthese situations, it’s important to remind yourself that (a) it’s okay to bejoyful; (b) you do in fact experience joy in other areas of your life; and (c)there is joy in the world, though it may be outside of this house, workplace,religious community… Hang on to your joy as you would hang on to your belief inGod. (165)

Thisis a good reminder when we all feel swamped by to-dos that seem to suck the joyout of life. We should cling to our joy as tightly as possibly. On the other hand, I'm not crazy about the fact that Martin does not suggest that being in an environment with joy vampires may not be God's desire for you.

DoesMartin acknowledge that there are times of mourning, darkness or deepfrustration? He does. He stresses the importance of finding support, someonewho may bring joy to you when you feel it is absent within yourself. Most of ushave experienced periods wherein we were afraid or certain that the light wouldnever return. This happens from personal events, as well as our reaction tolocal and world events. Martin writes,

AsI’ve said, sadness is an appropriate and natural response to suffering. Goddesires, I believe, that we be honest about our sadness and share it, inprayer, with God. But even in the midst of great tragedy, knowing that Godaccompanies us can lead us to a deep-down joy that can carry us throughdifficult, and sometimes unbearable, times.
Likewise,“rejoice always” does not mean that we should simply “look on the bright side”in the face of injustice. The anger that rises in you over an unjust situationmay be a sign that God is moving in you to address that injustice. That is, Godmay be speaking to your disgust over what you have read, or your shock overwhat someone has told you. (How else would God move people to action?) (188)

Weneed to reclaim joy as our spiritual inheritance. Joy isn’t about silliness(most of the time), but about truly celebrating what we believe God has donefor the world through Jesus the Christ. I am deeply saddened by the idea thatmany people would say they don’t see most Christians living this way. I’m notconvinced that’s true, but perception can become reality.

Intruth, Martin’s insights are great, but the concepts here were not new to me.However, I could see many people whom I know who would be fascinated by thisbook. The concepts of the difference between joy and happiness, the truth abouthumor in Scripture, and the jokes in the book would go over well in almost anychurch book club I can imagine.

Throughout the book, Martin quotesmany Roman Catholic theologians and saints, as well as other religious scholarsand historical figures. For people who are unused to reading summarynon-fiction (in which an author summarizes other works), it may take someadjustment to get used to the quotations and, possibly, to not knowing some ofthe persons quoted.

For the next few days, take amoment and remember that you are not the Savior of the world. Furthermore,you’re not a superhero because superheroes wouldn’t need a Savior. You’re aperson going forth, with the help of the Spirit, to share the good news ofgreat joy! You are not alone. You will not fail.

And if that doesn’t bring you joy,consider this: For about 1900 years, Christians have debated the Virgin Birth, but accepted the idea that awoman who was 40 weeks pregnant rode 100 miles on a donkey.

Share your joyous Christmas memories in the comments!

Martin, James, SJ. Heavenand Mirth: Why Joy, Humor, and Laughter are at the Heart of Spiritual Life.HarperCollins, NY, NY: September 2011. All quotations taken from the EPub Edition.

Copy purchased for review.

Prayer for Advent 4B

2011-12-18T07:07:00.003-05:00

God of Advent,
We are so close to Christmas Day, that
We can see your light shining in the dark
As we come closer and closer.
And as we draw nearer we find ourselves
tempted by all the busyness
Of the holidays to lose our focus on you.
Help us o Lord to keep our eyes on you.

God of Advent,
We have been waiting for what seems like a long time
For that special day to celebrate the birth of your son.
We have waited with hopeful hearts.
We have waited with longing for your peace.
We have waited with a desire for your joy.
And now we wait with a yearning for your love to be born in us again.

God of Advent,
When your steadfast love is birthed in us we will sing of you
And your love forever and ever.
When we are anointed by your love,
we will open our hearts and hands to the lonely, the needy,
the sorrowful, and those who are hurting.
We pray that we are able to share your love with all we meet.

God of Advent,
We pray that we are able to say yes to you when you call.
We pray that we are able to say “Here I am to you Lord.”
We pray that we can be your servants.
We pray that we can say as Mary said so long ago,
“Let it be with me according to your word.”
May all that we are glorify you, and may we rejoice in you
For you are our God, You are the rock of our salvation.
Yes, all our praise and love is focused through Jesus
On you o God.
Amen

cross posted on a place for prayer and rev abi's long and winding road

11th Hour Preacher Party: Four Candles Edition

2011-12-17T01:00:00.027-05:00

Good morning, preachers! Here we are -- can you believe it? -- looking at the last Sunday of Advent, all lit up by four candles.

Mary's story has me singing "Let It Be" along with the Beatles. A true child of the 60's here!

I still find inspiration in Mary's response to the challenge-blessing that shows up to transform her life. This year I'd like to be the angel in that play, the one who gets to break the news, share the joy and begin to chase away the fear.

Alas, I am not the designated preacher on Advent 4, nor will I get to play a role in the Sunday afternoon children and youth Christmas play. My own offering this weekend is a Mary-inspired meditation for today's "Blue Christmas" service.

Who's got baking to do and gifts to wrap?

Who's looking forward to a little time off after Christmas?

What about Christmas Day ideas?

This party is for you!

So, come as you are and share what you have! Especially welcome are warm cookies, cool children's sermon ideas, embryonic sermon thoughts, deep or light questions, pressing prayer requests, and hot coffee.
Give us a link to your sermon so we can share the joy of completion.

C'mon, let's get this party started!

Friday Five: To Do Lists

2011-12-16T05:00:00.000-05:00

Ever since I was little, I heard that Santa is making a list and checking it twice. I can see why he has to keep checking it, because there is so much to do before Christmas! Only nine days left, and I don't have church services to plan, but there is much left to be done. My daughter-in-law tells me that she feels behind, which is how I have been feeling.

No matter how organized you are, there must be some things you still need to do. For this Friday Five, tell us five things on your Christmas "To Do" List. Include anything you have decided to skip doing this year. As a bonus, give us something that helps you remember why this season even exists.

As always, leave a link to your blog post in the comments section. Go here to find out how to do this.

Ask the Matriarch - When the Numbers Don't Add Up

2011-12-15T08:45:00.003-05:00

In addition to the "wonders of God's love" which we are preparing to celebrate with our people, many of us are also preparing for annual meetings, budgets and the like. Our question this week pertains to this challenge...

It is budget development time. It is stewardship pledge time. Increasingly, the two sets of numbers (anticipated income vs. anticipated expenses) don’t match up. Our congregation is shrinking at a fast rate, and I believe it’s only a matter of time before we will have to make tough decisions. I’m seeking counsel as to how to go about those tough decisions – what (and who?) to cut, how to do it with integrity, communications and preparations to be done in the wake of such decisions.

We’re (“we” is our governing board) currently developing our 2012 budget, and to estimate our income, we use a quite accurate formula based on the amount that people pledge. This budget will go to the congregation in January preceeding our annual meeting. For this year, we allowed ourselves permission to take the $14,000 discrepancy if needed from reserve funds. (I estimate we’ll end up taking about half of that). That’s not sustainable, nor the kind of practice you want to do habitually!

Other than nickel-and-diming ourselves to death, there are two logical pots of expenses from which to cut: staff, and apportionment money sent to the larger denomination. The voices who care about being connected responsibly to the larger church get fewer and fewer each year, and the temptation of reducing the amount we send – or cutting it altogether – is always there, and increasing. I don’t know how long we can hold off such attempts.

Regarding staff – as a shrinking formerly middle-sized program church, we probably are overstaffed, but haven’t yet faced this hard truth. I can’t imagine how one goes about making those decisions of who to cut and how, and don’t welcome that task! Of course, my salary and benefits are by far the greatest expense. My leaders want to make sure that my compensation doesn’t lag too far behind the denominational guidelines – for which I am grateful; but they’re not so conscientious about the other staff members’ compensation. I am uncomfortable about the gap between my compensation and that of others’ (I think that may be a female thing), and the truth is that our household income is quite comfortable – I don’t need a raise. And in fact, don’t “need” what I make now. But I know it’s not helpful or healthy to enable poor stewardship by sacrificing so folks don’t have to give as much.

I would welcome the experience and advice of others who have navigated through the thicket of budget shortfalls – how do we do this wisely, well, and with integrity?

Jennifer, blogging at An Orientation of Heart, offers the following:

Yourobservations are all thoughtful ones! Church budgets in difficult economictimes are challenging.

As apastoral leader and an administrator, I think it’s important to ask framingquestions, in order to be clear about your desire to help the congregationalleaders make good decisions that reflect their theology and the values of thecongregation. For instance, our congregation is quite clear that when wehave lean years or concerns, we look at mission LAST as a place to make budgetcuts. We have frozen salaries, cut back on program expenditures, looked forrevenue from other sources, but mission and denominational support are seen asimportant commitments and priorities we wish to uphold.

I hope youhave a thoughtful personnel committee that does regular salary reviews so thatthey’re compensating staff fairly across the board. We talk about the budgetand about giving all year long, and while we often have a lean period of givingin the summer, we spend the fall months catching up and usually complete theyear able to meet all of our commitments. If you’re concerned about beingoverstaffed, it might be helpful to suggest a review of the staffing rationalefor the congregation—and perhaps your denominational representatives could helpwith that. It’s awfully hard to assess these sorts of things from within.

I hopesome of these rambling thoughts help. Blessings upon you and your congregationas you discern a path for the future together.

Kathryn adds these thoughts:

Wow, what an incredible timely question - you are certainly NOT alone.
In my experience the key ingredient to these tough decisions is: communicate, communicate, communicate. Communicate early. Communicate often. I would start with the governing board (maybe even combined boards) in January - post the setting of the 2012 budget so that it does not look like there is an ulterior motive. Start talking about what is important to everyone and try to steer away from the unhelpful conversations (if we brought in 10 members per month we could meet budget).

Ask the hard questions:
- Is the money out there and we're just not getting it? (Meaning: if we need to replace the boiler, will folks step up or are they really out of funds?)
- Do we need to downsize staff (which includes lowering expectations of the programs) and if so, how do we do so with integrity and in the way we would all want to be treated?
- Why do we exist?
- How long can we sustain the practice of dipping into the reserves/endowment?

That last question is key as so many churches right now are struggling to pay bills, but sitting on huge reserves/endowments in the name of saving for a rainy day. Friends it is POURING!

As for the apportionment - it's a slippery slope. And once the church is not paying that and STILL struggling what does that leave? A still broke church that now has no connections!

The bottom line is that you want their decisions to be THEIR decisions as they will have to live with them for far longer than you are in their presence. Prayers ascending for you and so many who are in similar situations.

Thanks to Jennifer and Kathryn for their thoughtful responses...and thank you in advance for yours. Please add your two cents (or more if you can spare it!) by posting your comments below.

May you live in God's amazing grace+

revhoney

Wednesday Festival: Those Stanzas Nobody Knows

2011-12-14T13:41:00.000-05:00

Today's post comes from ring member Not Fainthearted, who blogs at This Journey. Feel free to leave a comment here or back at her blog!

Those Stanzas Nobody Knows

Most people know, I like to sing. Always have. Even when I thought I was more of an instrumentalist. I was always one of those kids who knew the words to stuff. All the words. Not just the first verse or stanza and refrain.

We have a strange relationship to singing in this country. Even in churches – where it’s often one of the few times the people get to genuinely participate – it is hijacked by someone with a microphone. Either “the band” or the preacher. Often the preacher does the worst part of it by allowing a sensibility to grow that says “We can’t sing all the stanzas. People don’t really like to sing, plus it will make the service go long.” Never mind that the actual timing of the elements in a worship service don’t bear that out.

As a result, we’ve lost touch with a pretty impressive body of literature and poetry.

Take these two stanzas for instance. Most everyone could manage to limp their way through the first stanza without benefit of the hymnal (or projection screen. gag.) How many even know the hymn could speak so beautifully and directly into our present day?

And you, beneath life’s crushing load,
whose forms are bending low,
who toil along the climbing way
with painful steps and slow;
look now, for glad and golden hours
come swiftly on the wing;
oh, rest beside the weary road
and hear the angels sing!

Comforting, poetic and inviting rest. Who doesn’t want a little invitation to rest this time of year? Rest and enjoy the beauty of a free concert. What’s not inviting about that?

I like the last stanza too as it speaks of hope and the idea of peace winning out and our getting to join the music of the spheres unreservedly. Some day, anyway.

For lo! The days are hastn’ing on,
by prophets seen of old,
when with the ever-circling years
shall come the time foretold,
when peace shall over all the earth
its ancient splendors fling,
and all the world give back the song
which now the angels sing.

Do you know the Christmas carol? Did you remember those stanzas?

Tuesday Lectionary Leanings~ "...let it be with me according to your word"

2011-12-13T00:01:00.001-05:00

This is the irrational season

When love blooms bright and wild.

Had Mary been filled with reason

There'd have been no room for the child.

~Madeleine L'Engle

The lectionary readings for this Fourth Sunday of Advent can be found here.

Many of us raised in Protestant denominations have little experience with Mary. My exposure to more Anglo-Catholic traditions in the Episcopal Church while in seminary brought me a whole new appreciation for Marian devotion; I even took a summer class on Mary and Mary Magdalen in art and music. So I am thrilled when we get to Mary's story in our lectionary cycle, and this week we get a double dose: both the story of annunciation and Mary's response, the Magnificat. No matter what your take on Mary the rest of the year, Gabriel's visit and Mary's response make a great seque into Christmas.

Some of you may have preached on Mary and the Magnificat last week; if so perhaps you are going with Samuel and God's promise to establish the house of David, a promise we view through the lens of Jesus' coming. Or perhaps you'll concentrate on the doxology proclaiming God's glory breaking into the world through Jesus that concludes Paul's letter to the Romans.

Are you off lectionary this week? Where is the spirit leading you? Is the week for Lessons and Carols or the Christmas pageant? Let us know where your homiletical musings are leading.

Hope you are all staying sane as we rush headlong towards the nativity!

"Joy: All Decked Out" -- a Monday Extra for Advent

2011-12-12T09:25:00.001-05:00

(This Monday Extra is a sermon by ring member Rachel Hackenberg, who blogs at Faith and Water.)

Joy!

JOY!

Joy!

Let God whisper it in your soul.

Joy.
Not happiness,
not that moment of elation when things come together
or that gleeful feeling like when you're about to dive into dessert.
Not happiness...

Joy.
Not thrill,
not that rush of hype that is always temporary
like the thrill of a roller caster that takes you high before falling.
Not thrill...

Joy.
Not pleasure,
not that feel-good that excites our senses
and leaves us craving more and more and more.
Not pleasure.

Joy!

Joy: the exultation of a sunrise, glowing pink through the fog.

Joy: the soul-satisfying assurance of love from a friend, from a lover, from family.

Joy: the confidence of faith that no one and no thing can take God's presence from you -- not death or life, not slander or condemnation, nothing in the heavens and nothing in hell, no power or ruler, nothing in all creation can take God from you.

Mary -- pregnant, unwed, teenage Mary -- claims joy
not because her own circumstances are so spectacularly happy,
but because she believes that her pregnancy is holy evidence
that God is still struggling to relieve the hungry and powerless,
that God hasn't forgotten those who cry out for a savior.

She sings: "God has done great things for me,
and great things for all people.
God has shattered the proud and lifted up the lowly;
God has filled the hungry with good things
and remembered his mercy.
And God will do it again."

Isaiah -- persevering, disillusioned Isaiah -- proclaims joy
to a depressed people home from exile only to meet more hardship,
proclaims joy and faith and hopefulness in God for the brokenhearted,
announces that joy will be like a bright garland or a flower lei
placed around the necks of the devastated and the weary.

Isaiah says, "Like a bride adorns herself with jewels,
like royalty all decked out in robes,
I will give those who mourn a fresh garland instead of ashes,
the sweetest perfume to dispel the stench of destruction,
bright clothes for the holy days even though the temple isn't rebuilt."

Joy is the confidence of faith that no one and no situation can take God's presence from you: not teenage pregnancy, not exile and displacement, not dishonor, not seasons of death, not fears of money or loss of power. Joy is the confidence that God is still working, that God is still struggling to relieve and to save and to heal.

Joy!

JOY!

Joy!

Let God sing it in your soul.

Let God drape joy around your neck like a sparkling necklace that you can't afford. Let God drape joy on your door like a fresh evergreen wreath that shows beauty and life even in the dead season of winter. Let God drape joy on your shoulders like a brand new winter coat that isn't faded or patched or hand-me-down.

Let God show us joy like bright colorful lights sparkling across a world that has filled us with cynicism. Let God instill us with joy like the sweetest hot chocolate warming our stomachs (except it doesn't disrupt our sugar levels or get cold after sitting for too long). Let God show us joy that is so far beyond holiday happiness or the thrill of presents or the waning pleasure of hearing tinny Christmas music at the mall.

Let God show us joy and get us all decked out with faith to comprehend:

a garland of flowers amidst a pile of ashes,
a celebrated birth amidst uncertain times,
a song and a dance amidst sorrow and mourning,
glad confidence amidst holy mystery,
exuberance amidst doubt,
joy at all times.

Joy: because God's presence is unfailing.

Joy: because God's working is ongoing.

Joy: at all times!

Amen.

12/11/2011 sermon preached at Grace United Church of Christ, based on Luke 1:47-55 and Isaiah 61:1-3, 10-11.

Sunday Afternoon Music Videos: O Come Divine Messiah

2011-12-11T13:02:00.002-05:00

My community is struggling with a new translation of our liturgy, along with new music to match. Just on a practical level, getting everyone on the same page at the same time while trying to be prayerfully present to the mysteries we are celebrating, and anticipating, has been tough. This hymn closed the service last night, and suddenly all the joy and anticipation that had been buried under our pew cards and books and new hymnals came spiraling out of the piano, violins and voices...

What burst forth in song in your community today?

Prayer for Advent 3B

2011-12-10T23:10:00.002-05:00

God of Advent,
Pour your Holy Spirit on us as you did so long ago,
So that we may be bearers of your good news to those who are oppressed.
Anoint us with your spirit of hope so that we may heal the broken hearted.
Put your spirit of justice in our hearts so that we may declare liberty to the captives.
Bring forth your love so that we may pardon the prisoners.

God of Advent,
Make this be the day of the Lord when all who mourn are comforted.
Make this be the day when those who are grieving are strengthened.
Make this be the day when those who are in despair rise from their ashes.
Make this be the day where your glory is shown all around.

God of Advent,
Heal and restore our lands where there has been devastation.
Bring peace and reconciliation where there has been wars and fighting.
Reestablish those who have been jobless for too long.
Bring forth your salvation to all.

God of Advent,
May we be like Mary, Praising your name, singing your song from the depths of our souls.
May we spread your good news all around us for all to hear.
May we let people know how much we love you.
May we declare your good works in our lives forever.
Amen

11th Hour Preacher Party: Pink Candle Edition

2011-12-09T22:56:00.000-05:00

I've got that joy, joy, joy, joy...

Too much? Too busy?

We're right in the middle of that part of the season, aren't we? The part when the candles tell us we're supposed to pause for a time of rejoicing, but our calendars say, "WHAT?!?!?! PAUSE? REJOICE? Are you kidding?"

And now it's Saturday and the sermon is just around the corner. How are you preparing to bring God's work in your setting today? Or are you preparing for proclamation further down the line than that? Just looking at the Tuesday Lectionary Leanings shows we're kind of all over the Advent map in exciting and diverse ways. Don't let that keep you from stopping in and sharing where you are (or where you aren't) and what you may be looking for. Some of us are notorious for being better at helping others than we are at working on our own sermons!

The virtual cookie plate is full (even though the real one at my house is already empty). Grab your favorite and a mug of fair trade coffee/hot cocoa/tea. We're all here to hold the light for each other! Join us in the comments.

Friday Five: Random

2011-12-09T00:00:00.001-05:00

I don't know about you, but my life seems to have a lot of random surprises lately. Just little things,

like the doggy in the picture, who was rescued by a Good Samaritan from running into traffic, who then brought him to the police, who brought him to my neighbor's house. I took the doggy, now named Scout, to the vet on Monday, and the woman behind the desk said, "This dog looks so familiar. Were you here last week?" I told her no, that this particular dog is a stray, and she looked at me, and said (use your best Boston accent here), "Oh my GAWD! I rescued that dog on Satuhday! I took him to the police!" and then she proceeded to tell me the story. She was Scout's angel.

Random, right?

So, for our Friday Five, I invite you share five random things about you, or five random thoughts, or five random surprises in your life.

Just be random!

As always, let us know in comments if you play. Even better, get in the habit of posting a direct link to your blog entry in your comment, using the following formulation:
<a href="the url of your blog post goes here">what you want the link to say goes here</a>

Ask the Matriarch - How Can We Do This Well?

2011-12-08T06:30:00.000-05:00

A great question...especially as it relates to the welcome a church offers:

I've been visiting your lovely site for years now and always glean some inspiration, thank you.

I am part of an independent/ecumenical congregation that is slowly beginning to look at the issue of welcoming people of different sexual orientations. Slowly, leadership is having conversations with individual members to seek out their perspectives and stories. There's no one "pushing" this issue, i.e. wants to "come out" wondering if it's safe (as far as we know), but some people would like to be able to be sure that we are welcoming. Some members, while stating their own openness, worry that this will rip us apart. Others would rather let sleeping dogs lie and not deal with things at all, but this feels exclusive to some others!

My questions to all of you are, what process/resources do you recommend to us? How can we do this well?

Thanks!
from the prairies in Canada

From Sharon, blogging at Tidings of Comfort and Joy

"Why do we have to talk about it?" That's the question that we heard so often that a gay colleague and I developed an interactive presentation by that same title to take to churches just like yours who were struggling with whether it was even a good idea to open up a conversation about homosexuality and the church. So, I suggest that it could be helpful to start with a conversation about why you do have to talk about it. Include the opportunity to hear and address the fears of those who think it's better not to talk about it. Do you know someone from outside the congregation who could help facilitate that conversation?

The United Church of Christ website has some good information and resources on LGBT issues and how congregations can become Open and Affirming of all people. Something there might be helpful to you.

I would not start with a Bible study on homosexuality or with trying to come to consensus on what the Bible says about homosexuality. The Bible says many things that can be used to support both/all sides. In your case, you might consider a Bible study or book study on congregational hospitality.

Another thing to put in place immediately, if you don't have one already, is a safe church policy. I say this because that subject will come up in this context. The statement needs to be made that all children (youth, adults) are safe in your church because safeguards are in place and applied equally to all people at all times. When a church doesn't have a policy, I immediately get the leadership body (council, consistory, etc.) to adopt this as a beginning: Wherever there are children or youth, there must be two unrelated adults present (at least within earshot and fairly easy sight) at all times.

Many blessings to you and your congregation as you take these courageous steps!

And from Muthah+ who blogs at Stone of Witness

Dear Prairie Canadian,

As a lesbian, I want to thank you for being willing to address this issue in your congregation. So many still prefer to "keep quiet". But there are some really important issues that are out there to challenge your congregation and their willingness to provide that hospitality that the Christian message calls us to.

It is a difficult issue and few really want to talk about it. But I daresay you already have some members who are LGBT or have family members who have hidden their 'secret' for many years. They may not even yet be willing to be out among you, but by being welcoming you have embraced them in ways that they have never known. I have had LGBT members in my congregations my whole career. Some of them let me know and some did not. Some I supported quietly and some I had to be quite vocal about. This is long before I ever came out myself.

For those who are the most vociferous in rejecting LGBT people are often people who have had negative experiences especially in their youth. The are not likely to talk about these incidents but be prepared for them if they share their feelings privately. I am often horrified with the type of predation that happens to young people not by gays but by predators. And those who have been victims often identify them as 'gay' rather than predators.

Even though I am from a denomination (Episcopal) where this issue has supposedly torn us apart, it does not need to as long as people are allowed to express their feelings without judgement or that they must conform to a specific set of values. (In our denomination the split was less about LGBT folk than it has been a struggle who has the authority to interpret Scripture.) Slowly but surely LGBT folk are being seen in much more acceptable light. And we have dealt with the Scriptural problems that so many who are against seem to trot out. Be sure you have a working theology and have dealt with those passages in Scripture yourself so that you can lead by example. Don't expect LGBT folk to provide that for you as you invite them into your congregation. If you need to, go over those passages with the congregation so that they understand you have a good Biblical stance for your actions.

I have found that the more that people have contact with LGBT people, the more the barriers come down. Make sure that when LGBT folk are invited to the congregation that you have a plan of welcome prepared so that there are those who will go out of their way to treat them with grace and respect. Often it is same sex couples or families who come to your door that jar your members. Know which Sunday School classes are available; have someone who will reach out to them and guide them to the fellowship following the service or whatever you do as a community. Also do the follow-up calls.

It sounds as though you already have members who are ready to do this sort of thing. They just might be afraid of 'certain people' in the congregation who might say something untoward. LGBT folk are used to that. Just make sure that there are those who are supportive who are on your welcoming team so that you don't have to be worried about the 'troglodytes' in the parish while you are running the service.

I also want to commend your congregation for their willingness to address this issue. Many years ago--the bishop of San Francisco addressed our clergy conference in upstate NY. He chastised us for not being willing to minister to the LGBT members of our small communities that forced LGBT people to congregate in places like San Francisco, NYC and the like. This was at the height of the AIDS/HIV epidemic. And he was right. Thirty years ago gay folk were often so ostracized that there was no other places where they could find any affirmation. Hopefully, today our LGBT folk can live comfortably on the plains of Canada and be known as the creative people that they are.

Join in the conversation...share your thoughts on how we can do this well...

May you live in God's amazing grace+

revhoney

Wednesday Festival: Born To Set Thy People Free

2011-12-07T03:00:00.000-05:00

Today's Festival post is by Julie Clawson, and it's a reflection for Advent 2, "Born to Set Thy People Free." Julie makes reference (as does the poem she quotes) to the barriers that still remain for women to serve fully in sacramental ministry. A belief that women are called to just such ministry is the founding principle and the one non-negotiable understanding for membership in this ring. Thank you to Julie for the reminder that it's not such an obvious conclusion for all people, and that there are sisters out in the world wondering if they will be able to answer God's call in their lives. May we all be set free to faithfulness.

Born to Set Thy People Free

Come thou long expected Jesus, Born to set Thy people free.

Advent heralds the arrival of a new way of being in the world. The Divine has broken into our world, shattering the boundaries of the limits we assumed defined our existence. Hope was incarnate in the most unexpected of guises – giving testimony in its very form to the freedom it delivered. Freedom from the fear that this is all there is – that the patterns of this world hold the only answers available to the questions of our souls. Freedom from the oppressive lie that in a world of scarcity all we can do is secure whatever we can for ourselves by whatever means necessary. Freedom to have hope that there is a light shining in the darkness.

This Advent of hope ushers in a life-affirming freedom that is ours to live into. And yet we continue to act as if we are afraid to claim that freedom – or more precisely to allow others to claim access to this limitless way of life. Even the very proclamation and remembrance of the incarnation of hope gets subjected to our fearful limits, forcefully sheltered from being transformed by the very boundary-breaking hope that it is. We await the precious birth and then promptly place Jesus in prisons of our own making – ostensibly to serve him, but in truth to ensure that we can control his message and dictate who is allowed access to it. Therefore it becomes hard to think of Advent without also recalling to mind the words of Frances Croake Frank’s poem “Did the Woman Say?” –

Did the woman say,
When she held him for the first time in the dark of a stable,
After the pain and the bleeding and the crying,
“This is my body, this is my blood”?
Did the woman say,
When she held him for the last time in the dark rain on a hilltop,
After the pain and the bleeding and the dying,
“This is my body, this is my blood”?
Well that she said it to him then,
For dry old men,
Brocaded robes belying barrenness
Ordain that she not say it for him now.

It is far easier to turn the woman into a spiritual metaphor of ideal submission than to let her be free to physically participate in the life of Christ (then and now). The light shines in the darkness, but the darkness refuses to open its eyes and let it chase the shadows away. But Jesus came to set his people free.

Paul Ricoeur defines freedom as “the capacity to live according to the paradoxical law of superabundance,” or in other words, to embrace the surplus of meaning in the already and not yet of the eschatological event of the new creation. Hope broke into the world and redefined everything. We are no longer bound by the limits of scarcity which persuade us that to share our food or power with another is to deprive ourselves in some way. Hope opens up the possibility of living into the Kingdom of God, of letting go of limits in order to embrace abundant life. It is the living hopefully into the much more promise of Romans 5:15 – “For if the many died through the one man's trespass, much more surely have the grace of God and the free gift in the grace of the one man, Jesus Christ, abounded for the many.”

Advent is about abounding grace at work setting people free to live into this limitless hope. It is about agreeing with Mary that already in the past, present, and future I AM that I AM has “brought down the powerful from their thrones, and lifted up the lowly.” It is about recognizing the upside-down sense of a King being born in a stable. It is about letting go of the fearful power-plays we have imposed upon the breaking of bread. It is about realizing that it is only once we share what we have (be that our resources or even the space where our voice gets heard) that we find there is a surplus leftover even after we have all had our fill.

Advent is about expectantly anticipating the freedom Christ promises by living into that very freedom now. It is about shattering the constraints we have shored up around ourselves in order to let the light in.

Tuesday Lectionary Leanings~~A Voice in the Wilderness, Take 2

2011-12-06T00:49:00.001-05:00

Here we are at Advent 3, beginning the downhill side of the season--can it really be that close to Christmas? In some traditions, the third Sunday of Advent is known as "stir-up" Sunday, a time to begin preparations for the traditional Christmas puddings and mince pies. And in others, it is "Gaudette" (or rejoice) Sunday--some of us will be wearing rose vestments and lighting the rose candle in the Advent wreath.

The lectionary readings for this week can be found here, and we have lots to choose from. Our gospel once again features John the Baptist, this time from the perspective of the Gospel of John...only he's not "the baptist" here. He's also quick to tell us that he's not Elijah and not the Messiah...so who is this mysterious fellow, and what message does he bring us this week? If you preached on John last week, does this passage shed new light on his cry to "make straight the way of the Lord?"

In our reading from Hebrew scripture we hear from another Advent perennial, Isaiah. Whenever I read this passage I think of Jesus quoting it as a sort of "mission statement" as he begins his ministry in Luke's gospel, but even without that connection, it is full of powerful imagery of God's justice.

If you are observing "Gaudette" or rose Sunday, the reading from the letter to the Thessalonians fits right in: "Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you" might be just what we need to hear as we move headlong into the hectic days leading to Christmas.

Or perhaps you are going with the Magnificat from Luke. Mary's beautiful song of praise to God upon learning of her (quite unexpected) pregnancy is a testimony to the kind of faith most of us aspire to. And what can we learn from her calm acceptance of news that could only be shocking?

Some of you may be off lectionary, perhaps doing an Advent series...what texts will you use this week, and what direction will you be taking as we continue to "prepare the way of the Lord?" I look forward to reading your ideas in the comments.

Early Christmas Presents: a Meet'n'Greet!

2011-12-05T08:55:00.002-05:00

Today I have an early Christmas gift to the RevGal community: new members!

The Rev. Mamie Broadhurst and her husband the Rev. Richard Williams (and their daughter) are PCUSA mission co-workers in Colombia. They blog at Called to Colombia, and we are excited to have them in our community! They serve as Pastoral Accompaniers for Human Rights and Displaced Persons and work in the Office of Diaconía of the IPC (the Colombian Presbyterian Church). They bring us a unique perspective on faith and life in the midst of a difficult and wonderful place, with posts as diverse as reflections on violence, on shopping, and on tandoori chicken crepes as traditional Thanksgiving fare.

Julie Huke Klock is a Christian Educator in Austin, a mother of two grown children, and a writer who began blogging for work and now is willing to share her reflections with all of us at Water-Wings. She's working hard at living more creatively, and hearing God's "yes!" Her latest posts on "the season" are wonderful reflections on just what season we're in when, and what it means when we talk about "the reason for the season."

Hilary Campbell is an Anglican priest in England. She blogs as RevHillers on Posterous. She says she "aspires to be storyteller, crafter of words, silence, space and singing. Loves to pootle and meander. Wife, mother, sister, daughter. Good times, bad times.. give me some of that. Blogging on faith and life." She's been on sabbatical this fall, and has blogged through that experience, complete with awesome photos.

Let's share some RevGalBlogPal love--Adventy or otherwise--with these wonderful new friends! Be sure to stop by and say hi!

Prayer for Advent 2B

2011-12-03T22:12:00.000-05:00

God of Advent
We come crying out for all, comfort your people.
Make a path for your people that they can find their way.
Speak tenderly to all whose hearts are wounded.
Bring calmness to all who fear.
Be our Shepherd Lord and carry us as one would carry a lamb.
Feed our hunger Lord.

God of Advent
Show us your mercy and favor.
Forgive us our ways when we turn away from you.
And put your peace into our hearts as we turn back to you
Pour your steadfast love over as like a gentle rain.
Breath your righteousness into our souls.
Make us faithful as we wait.

God of Advent
We do wait for your son to come
We wait for the new heavens and the new earth.
We wait in your peace, your patience and your salvation.
And so we pray come Lord Jesus, come.

cross posted at a place for prayer and rev abi's long and winding road

11th Hour Preacher Party: Locusts and Wild Honey Edition

2011-12-03T01:17:00.001-05:00

or wait, is that wild locusts and honey?

Anyway, it's quite a breakfast for our 2 Advent preacher party!

We're moving into week 2 of our Advent season. Special guest? John the Baptist. Special food? Locusts and wild honey. Or, if you'd like, blueberry pancakes and fair trade coffee.

Today, we're featuring several themes (besides food): there's road construction, repentance, comfort, and waiting. There's the day of the Lord, and the patience of God. You could be preparing the way with John, in the wilderness with the exiles, or waiting for 1,000 years with Peter. Or, something else entirely.

Where are your advent wanderings taking you? What are you singing? What are you praying? What are you writing? And what are you eating?

Be sure to check on this good discussion on the texts here.

And be sure to join the party throughout the day. Do not be glum, even if you are eating locusts and wild honey. After all, I hear that some parts are edible.....

Friday Five: Delinquent Edition

2011-12-02T10:07:00.002-05:00

The background of the situation is that a few years ago, Songbird reminded me that I had the Friday Five. I told her - quite adamantly - that I was one she would never have to worry about. I keep close track of such things.

As we were driving from having a beautiful breakfast with my sister, brother-in-law, nephew and brand new niece this morning you can imagine my dismay as Songbird said, "I hope whoever had the Friday Five today remembered to do it."

D'oh.

So for today, if you are still there, the Friday Five is this:
It's a busy season and our minds get caught up in lots of different things (a shiny new baby, in my case). We all know that especially during this time of year we have to be intentional about the things that are important or we can lose them. What are five things you try to be intentional about, whether it be for this season specifically or in general?

As always, please let us know in the comments if you played and Songbird will make sure I come and visit your answers. ;)

Thanks for playing and Happy Advent!

Ask the Matriarch - A Discussion about Discernment

2011-12-01T06:30:00.000-05:00

This week's question concerns discernment of call and our openness about the process...

I'm an Associate Pastor and have been serving the same congregation (my first call) for just over five years. Some things have changed recently among the staff and the direction of the congregation, as well as some changes in my own understanding of ministry and my sense of call, and I'm just beginning to think about the possibility of being called somewhere else. I've sent an application to one other church, and I have a few others on my radar, but I'm not in all-out search mode yet (ie, I'm not using our denominational online-dating process yet, nor am I perusing the available positions every day...only once a week or so).

My question is about my responsibility as an Associate RE the secrecy of the search process. Is it better to continue doing my job here with no hint of my looking-around activities until something more serious comes up, and what qualifies as more serious--deciding to enter the matching process? an interview? a call? Or is it better to tell the head of staff now that I'm thinking of and looking at possibilities? I don't want people to think I'm leaving them (especially since that's not true right now!), or to act weird or prematurely decide I'm finished--I want to be able to control, as much as I can (which I know is not much), the leaving process when it's time for that. This is still really early. So--at what point do I need to come clean with the Head of Staff or with other staff? And then, if something changes again and I either don't get another call or my own call here is somehow reaffirmed, how would that work?

~newly looking~

From Jennifer, who blogs at An Orientation of Heart

Dear sister in ministry,

I think you’ve answered your own question…you’re in a process of discernment, you don’t want to act weird, and you don’t know where God may be leading you.

Perhaps you will feel reaffirmed in your own sense of call to where you’re currently serving. Perhaps you will sense you’re being called to something new.

I’m thinking that you may be part of the denominational call system with which I’m most familiar. In that case, I think discretion is the watchword, not because it’s a dating process (because it’s not; it’s a call process. I think the dating/relationship/marriage analogies don’t serve us well in the church and make many moments in professional church life unnecessarily muddy. But that’s another topic for another day.) Your calling is from God, but it’s also a professional relationship. In other words, I don’t believe that you’re “cheating” on your current partner by exploring if God is calling you elsewhere. You are discerning the work of the Spirit in your own life and for the congregation with which you serve.

And for any process, I think the following is good advice: Don’t list anyone as a reference without asking them to serve as a reference for you. Be clear with any search committee/PNC that you’re conducting a quiet search and that you have not informed your current staff/congregation that you’re searching. (Who knows—you may be their number one candidate, but you may not be the successful candidate in a particular search.) Be clear with your higher governing body representatives that you’re quietly searching, so that the word doesn’t leak back to your current setting.

If and when you discover that you’re a final candidate or have moved forward in the process far enough that you believe you’re going to be called to a new setting, give your head of staff and your personnel committee chair first warning on that information with the clear understanding of when you would wish the congregation to be informed. In other words, be very thoughtful about who you tell and how soon. Not everyone handles confidential information as we wish they would, especially when that information affects their lives and planning. Do your best to give as much solid information to the need-to-know people, but no sooner than they need to know it.

Hope this makes sense! Please know that I will be keeping you in my prayers.

From Muthah+, at Stone of Witness

Dear looking,

Five years as an associate is a good ministry and probably the right time to look for a new position. In these beginning days, I would suggest that you keep your search under your hat. But there will come a time when you will need to tell your lead pastor of your intentions. I believe that you will know when that time is. It is when your personal integrity will get in the way of doing what you are presently doing. The last people you tell is your congregation and that is with the advice of your sr. pastor.

In my tradition the search commitee often comes to your parish to hear you preach. By that time your congregation should be aware that you are looking and can help their search committee by answering their questions. Most congregations want to help the assistant to further their career even if they don't want to lose you.

You are right about not wanting to rush into 'search mode'. Go at it slowly testing the waters as you go along. But there will come a "tipping point" in which you will WANT to leave and that cannot be hidden. Your congregation will know it and you will know it. That is when being open about your search is necessary. You will want to have discussed this with your sr. pastor BEFORE the tipping point if possible. It will depend upon the relationship you have with your pastor and the staff, but it is better to err on the prepared side.

And from Sharon, who blogs at Tidings of Comfort and Joy

I so appreciate this question! And let's celebrate that you are being stirred by the Spirit to be open to a new call!

Short answer to your question: Tell no one in your current congregation and be very careful about the select others you might choose to advise you along the way.

Longer answer: For me, the hardest part about leaving a congregation has been the secrecy that often can feel like outright deception. You don't want to deceive, and you want to be fair and open, but keeping this part of your journey private is a necessary act of secrecy for everyone's sake. You are being kind to your congregation and your staff is to exclude them from the uncertainty of what you are going through. You can shield them from premature speculation about all sorts of things. It will also keep open -- and clean -- your option to stay there longer.

My approach has been to withhold all information until the new call has been extended and I am ready to offer my resignation. Before that, if there is a question, I answer it honestly with as little pertinent information as I can or with another question. I have also decided that, if someone asks me a direct question point-blank that I can't get out of answering, I won't lie to them. Think up some possible responses that work for you. Congregations will forgive secrecy and avoidance behavior; outright lies leave wounds.

When the time comes to tell them that you are leaving, tell your Head of Staff first, and then other staff and a few key leaders and other people you want to hear the news from you rather than in a letter. There will be some pain in sharing this news, no doubt. It will dawn on them that there was a period of time when you were not telling them the whole truth about what you were up to, and they will have some feelings about that. But it will be much easier to address amid the certainty that you are leaving.

May God bless you with clarity and courage for the journey!

Have you been where ~ newly looking ~ is? How have you navigated this process? Share your thoughts and experiences by posting a comment below.

And if you have a question for the matriarchs, please send it to us here.

May you live in God's amazing grace+

revhoney